Saturday 9 July 2011

Jealous

My mood has been very down these past few days, mainly thanks to the lack of sales to Fiction Feast. Now Take A Break have suspended fiction, the paranoid part of me is wondering if they plan to axe Fiction Feast too. I’ve been trying to write, but the stories have been coming out wrong. They don’t have any fizz.
Of course the other thing on my mind is my ex husband who recently started seeing somebody. I’ve wanted him to do this for years, but now that he has, I’m jealous. Not because I want him for myself (we’re about as incompatible as it’s possible to be) but because it’s so easy for him. Everywhere we go, there are dozens of attractive, single women. All he had to do was choose one. For me, it’s proving so much harder. Firstly there are far fewer men and secondly most of them are married. The ones that are left have been unsuitable due to age, height or intelligence. I’ve tried an ad in the Yorkshire Post, speed dating, Heydays, and so far, zilch. They say that when you’re looking for something, you don’t find it. That love comes along when you don’t expect it. That gives me a massive problem because everywhere I go, I imagine the possibilities of meeting somebody. I’m a writer, that’s what I do.
I was up bright and early this morning picking fruit and flowers to enter into the gardening club flower show. I don’t grow many of the things there are classes for – roses, delphiniums, pelargoniums, broad beans, so I entered some photos, a bowl of mixed berries and two vases of cut flowers. The next show (August) is the big one. They have art as well as plants and I hope repeat last year’s success when I won first prize in the painting class with a portrait
My office is looking much tidier now, thanks to the new bespoke cupboard/wardrobe. I still have trouble finding things though. It will take some time to get used to the new arrangement.
Now I need to get on with the book. I’m laying it out ready to go on Lulu. Once it’s done, I can forget about it and hopefully the short stories will start to flow properly again.

1 comment:

  1. Linda, I can sympathise. I was on my own for quite a while and was fortunate enough to meet someone (through speed dating), but I agree absolutely there are lots of lovely single women out there (I have at least 4 friends in that category) but single men seem to be in very short supply! It's not fair, is it?
    Don't forget about Spice, as that could be an opportunity to meet someone. Although it's not a dating club, most members are single and if you choose your events 'wisely' (ie: do something regularly so that you meet the same people each time and get to know them, and/or go on the holidays/weekends away, which really give you a chance to get to know people), who knows what might happen. If nothing else, you might make some good female friends. Anyway, it's just an idea! I hope the stories start flowing soon. I'm a bit stuck too at the moment. Sometimes, when you try to 'force' it, the subconscious just says 'no!', doesn't it? Best wishes Helen

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