My mother has been put into a home.
I spoke to the Social Worker on Thursday who said that Denis was now too ill to take care of her and the plan was to move her to a home. Apparently she’d been there for a week to give Denis respite care. I was also told that Mum had stayed at the home for a couple of days when Denis had to go into hospital.
I hadn’t been told on either occasion. I was so shocked by this sudden development that when the Social Worker asked if I wanted details of the home, I said no and asked her to email me. I didn’t want to have to scribble it down on a pad in the state I was in. I had no idea they were actually moving here there and then.
I tried calling Mum yesterday evening and Denis answered so I hung up, I tried again today, no reply, so I asked my lodger to call again just now. He spoke to Denis who said that Mum’s already been moved. He wouldn’t say when this happened, and ended with ‘why should you care?’
To try and find out when this happened, I asked my lodger to call my Aunt to see if she knew anything. She DID know that Mum spent a week in the home, a short while ago (I wonder who told her and why they didn’t bother to tell me) but didn’t know about the permanent move.
I feel I have to explain. Mum’s been calling me less often since she’s been going to day care. Sometimes there have been days when she hasn’t called. When that’s happened, I’ve left it a week and called her. She must have been in the home in one of those gaps.
I just don’t understand why they didn’t tell me. I’ve begged to be kept informed. Even if I was the worst, the nastiest, the most evil daughter in the world, I still think they should have told me what their plans were. As it is, I didn’t get to say goodbye. I had no idea that when I spoke to her on the 4th that would be the last time she would call me. I spoke to her social worker too that day, but there was no mention of moving Mum to a home.
I want to know what gives them the right to do all this.
Whatever they may think of me, I’m still her family.
Linda
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear your bad news. Friday 13th indeed. None of us can imagine how you are feeling but you do have my heartfelt sympathy and I am sending warm wishes up to you in Leeds, if that makes you feel any better. Do you think it might help you if you went to Devon and visited your Mum - and saw the home she is in? At least then you might feel reassured that, at least, she is being properly looked after? Just a thought. All the best. Helen