Yesterday, my boiler started making strange noises, like rumbling from a very large bear, trapped in a cave. The cupboard the boiler lives in was shaking so much, I had to turn the heating off. Luckily it’s so mild, that wasn’t too much of a problem. I called British Gas who arrived just now to try and fix it.
Woody and Snoopy are here again, just for tonight while their owners go to a New Year party. I spend the whole time smiling when they’re here, they’re so adorable.
I did some work on the book before they arrived. Only five hundred words but that’s OK. I’m still being kind to myself, maybe TOO kind. The plan is to ease myself back into writing once 2012 arrives.
On the 2nd of January my least favourite dog arrives for 17 days.
I first looked after her a year ago. Back then, she came with Milo, the spaniel. I fell for him immediately, but felt no connection to Leah. Sadly, Milo died in July, by which time I’d already promised to look after both dogs this coming January. Obviously I couldn’t let his owner down. Maybe Leah will be different now she’s the only dog. I’ll have to wait and see.
I feel very wicked right now as all I want to do is cuddle Woody and Snoopy and enjoy the rest of today. I will have to keep my fFingers crossed that their owners go to Spain for a month next Summer, then I can look after their dogs for longer.
Not long left of 2011 now. I won't be sorry to see it go. It's been a very hard year and I'm really looking forward to the fresh page that the New Year offers.
Happy New Year to one and all. Let's make it a good one.
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
No longer home alone
Yesterday I didn’t even turn the computer on as I wanted a complete break. Instead I I soaked up Christmas, reading dozens of stories and watching Christmassy films., jotting down any possible starting points for ideas for next year’s seasonal stories I ended up with about fifteen which is not at all bad.
For some reason, this morning I decided to remove some of the mould growing on the windows in John’s room before he came home. I’m not sure if the fumes of the cleanser got to me, but whatever happened I felt ill soon afterwards – a mix of indigestion, abdominal pains and bloating, which means I haven’t got as much done as I’d hoped. I managed to send three stories to Australia and that’s about it for today as just after lunch John came home, full of his Christmas break. He seems to have a great time. The crowd he went with (from Spice) sounded like fun. Some nights he got to bed after four a.m. Sadly he didn't meet any ladies he liked the look of.
In many ways it would have been nice to have gone away myself, but, and it’s a very big but, I have now proved that I can cope with being alone without getting depressed. I confess I DID feel a bit down at times, lonely, even a bit sad, but I expected that, it was Christmas after all, but it was nothing like as bad as it used to be.
The experience has shown me that I could cope perfectly well if John moved out so now all I have to do is hope, pray, wish, and wish again that he finds somebody and goes to live with her.
SOON please.
For some reason, this morning I decided to remove some of the mould growing on the windows in John’s room before he came home. I’m not sure if the fumes of the cleanser got to me, but whatever happened I felt ill soon afterwards – a mix of indigestion, abdominal pains and bloating, which means I haven’t got as much done as I’d hoped. I managed to send three stories to Australia and that’s about it for today as just after lunch John came home, full of his Christmas break. He seems to have a great time. The crowd he went with (from Spice) sounded like fun. Some nights he got to bed after four a.m. Sadly he didn't meet any ladies he liked the look of.
In many ways it would have been nice to have gone away myself, but, and it’s a very big but, I have now proved that I can cope with being alone without getting depressed. I confess I DID feel a bit down at times, lonely, even a bit sad, but I expected that, it was Christmas after all, but it was nothing like as bad as it used to be.
The experience has shown me that I could cope perfectly well if John moved out so now all I have to do is hope, pray, wish, and wish again that he finds somebody and goes to live with her.
SOON please.
Monday, 26 December 2011
Boxing day
When I woke up, late, after another broken night, I had no idea what I wanted to do with the day. It’s so quiet without John, and knowing I can do whatever I like, is bliss, but very confusing as I’m so used to putting up with his interruptions. I’d intended to push on with the book, but I’ve now decided to enjoy the peace instead. It’s great not having to use the headphones if I want to play my keyboard.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
Boxing Day
When I woke up, late, after another broken night, I had no idea what I wanted to do with the day. It’s so quiet without John, and knowing I can do whatever I like, is bliss, but very confusing as I’m so used to putting up with his interruptions. I’d intended to push on with the book, but I’ve now decided to enjoy the peace instead. It’s great not having to use the headphones if I want to play my keyboard.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
Boxing Day
When I woke up, late, after another broken night, I had no idea what I wanted to do with the day. It’s so quiet without John, and knowing I can do whatever I like, is bliss, but very confusing as I’m so used to putting up with his interruptions. I’d intended to push on with the book, but I’ve now decided to enjoy the peace instead. It’s great not having to use the headphones if I want to play my keyboard.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
Boxing Day
When I woke up, late, after another broken night, I had no idea what I wanted to do with the day. It’s so quiet without John, and knowing I can do whatever I like, is bliss, but very confusing as I’m so used to putting up with his interruptions. I’d intended to push on with the book, but I’ve now decided to enjoy the peace instead. It’s great not having to use the headphones if I want to play my keyboard.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
He gave me SNUFF for Christmas (we’re both huge Terry Pratchett fans so he knows he’ll get to read it after me) so I took tea and porridge back to bed and started reading. It’s so good, it was really hard to stop.
Mind you, I do miss having John to play against (i.o.w. thrash) on the Wii tennis. Because I’m so good, the machine keeps giving me the same characters to play against and refuses to let me score get to 2000. It’s very annoying. Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. You would need to own a Wii.
I think I have decided to work my way through all the magazines I haven’t got round to reading. There are at least 3 Writers Forums, plus 3 Fiction Feasts, then there’s the Christmas papers which I like to go through looking for ideas for next year’s Christmas stories. I might even watch the Wizard of Oz later.
I’m going to turn the computer off now. It’s still got some kind of problem as it’s still sending strange emails but I can’t face another lengthy session on the phone, trying to fix it. I hope everyone enjoys Boxing Day as much as I intend to do.
This is my first full day without Prozac and that has to be worth enjoying.
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Christmas Day
I’m spending Christmas on my own – no Mum, no man, no family. I could have gone away but when my lodger decided to go away with Spice, I made up my mind to stay home alone. Living alone has caused me problems in the past. Basically, I simply couldn’t stand it and became depressed and suicidal. Lately, I’ve been feeling so much better, I started to think I might be able to cope now, but there was, to quote Harry Hill, only one way to find out. I figure that if I can get through Christmas day, when so many people are with their families, and even the charity shops are closed, then I’ll be able to cope when ( soon pleases) John tells me he’s moving out.
I took my last dose of Prozac today which is a huge relief as I wanted to make sure I was feeling good due to the therapy, not the drugs. I decreased the dose steadily over two weeks which avoided the withdrawal symptoms. My message to anyone out there who has been on Prozac for longer than they would like, but finds they can’t get off the pills because they start to feel terrible, is simple. Have a word with your GP and tell him what I did and see what he has to say. Please don’t do anything without talking to your doctor in case he doesn’t approve. If Prozac is working for you, that’s a good thing. It wasn’t working for me, that’s all.
I’m having one of Peter Jones’s Boxing Days (as in his book How to do everything and be happy) which basically means doing what I feel like at the time and not making any plans. I got up early, had a nice long soak in the bath, a bacon sandwich for breakfast, then sat in the conservatory, doing a jigsaw while watching Christmassy programmes on TV, including Morecambe and Wise fr0om 1971. My viewing was pleasantly interrupted by a call from Rae, the lovely lady I met at Swanwick. I could have stayed chatting to her for hours, but I had to let her get back to her family! My Christmas dinner was heated up left–overs from yesterday – roasted vegetables of various kinds, with a covering of cheddar, followed by a steamed chocolate pudding (It was meant to be a Christmas one but I opened the wrong packet) with Jersey cream. After that, I went to Good Neighbours where they were putting on Christmas dinner for older people who would otherwise have been alone. I chatted to lots of people then got stuck into the wiping up and putting away. On my way home, I noticed the newsagent/corner shop was open so I went in and treated myself to a Magnum.
I’ve just spent half an hour playing the piano. I had to stop when my arms started aching. I’m having trouble sleeping in that I’m having very strange, very complicated dreams, then waking up at four in the morning. I’m taking the dreams as a good sign as when I was feeling bad, I didn’t seem to have them. That said, they are very peculiar.
Now it’s to see if there’s anything else to watch on TV. At Christmas, I like to watch as many seasonal films as I can bear as that’s one of my favourite ways to get ideas for next year’s Christmas stories.
Thanks to all those of you who have commented on my blog over the past year. Your kind words have been so helpful. I’m eternally grateful for all the advice and encouragement you have given to me.
Have a lovely Christmas!
I took my last dose of Prozac today which is a huge relief as I wanted to make sure I was feeling good due to the therapy, not the drugs. I decreased the dose steadily over two weeks which avoided the withdrawal symptoms. My message to anyone out there who has been on Prozac for longer than they would like, but finds they can’t get off the pills because they start to feel terrible, is simple. Have a word with your GP and tell him what I did and see what he has to say. Please don’t do anything without talking to your doctor in case he doesn’t approve. If Prozac is working for you, that’s a good thing. It wasn’t working for me, that’s all.
I’m having one of Peter Jones’s Boxing Days (as in his book How to do everything and be happy) which basically means doing what I feel like at the time and not making any plans. I got up early, had a nice long soak in the bath, a bacon sandwich for breakfast, then sat in the conservatory, doing a jigsaw while watching Christmassy programmes on TV, including Morecambe and Wise fr0om 1971. My viewing was pleasantly interrupted by a call from Rae, the lovely lady I met at Swanwick. I could have stayed chatting to her for hours, but I had to let her get back to her family! My Christmas dinner was heated up left–overs from yesterday – roasted vegetables of various kinds, with a covering of cheddar, followed by a steamed chocolate pudding (It was meant to be a Christmas one but I opened the wrong packet) with Jersey cream. After that, I went to Good Neighbours where they were putting on Christmas dinner for older people who would otherwise have been alone. I chatted to lots of people then got stuck into the wiping up and putting away. On my way home, I noticed the newsagent/corner shop was open so I went in and treated myself to a Magnum.
I’ve just spent half an hour playing the piano. I had to stop when my arms started aching. I’m having trouble sleeping in that I’m having very strange, very complicated dreams, then waking up at four in the morning. I’m taking the dreams as a good sign as when I was feeling bad, I didn’t seem to have them. That said, they are very peculiar.
Now it’s to see if there’s anything else to watch on TV. At Christmas, I like to watch as many seasonal films as I can bear as that’s one of my favourite ways to get ideas for next year’s Christmas stories.
Thanks to all those of you who have commented on my blog over the past year. Your kind words have been so helpful. I’m eternally grateful for all the advice and encouragement you have given to me.
Have a lovely Christmas!
Saturday, 24 December 2011
THE BEST LAID PLANS
I had plans for today.
John was going away and I planned to use the time to get some work done, but you know what they say about plans.
He was meant to go yesterday but due to offering a lift to someone who was working on Friday, he was still here this morning. He finally left at 9.30.
To get into the Christmas spirit I went down the sops, intending to buy myself an Zmas gift. I found a nice white gold ring, secondhand, which fits perfectly, so treated myself to that (it was les than £50. I also bought another jigsaw, an apricot tart and some cream, three CDs, and a bouquet from the florist comprising nothing but blue flowers to symbolise what should be my last lonely Christmas if my plans for next year come to fruition. It cost just under £15 which is the most I’ve ever spent on flowers for myself and as far as I can remember, the most ANYONE has spent on flowers for me.
I got home ten minutes before noon, so didn’t have logn to get ready before going next door for drinks and nibbles. Two rather nice glasses of mulled wine and lots of nibbles later, I came back home, feeling woozy (no idea if that’s how you spell it). A change of plan was called for, so I sat down and had a go at 2 cryptic crosswords, then played Rocket Mania on the computer – a game I love but try to avoid playing as it takes such a long time.
It’s now 4p.m. I’ve decided to give up any thought of work for today and tomorrow and just do what I feel like and enjoy the peace and quiet so it’s back to the crossword, the jigsaw and the Wii machine. After that I’ll think about preparing some veg for dinner. I might even go to the church service tonight, if I can stay awake. I’ll have to wait and see how I feel. .
TH BEST LAID PLANS
John was going away and I planned to use the time to get some work done, but you know what they say about plans.
He was meant to go yesterday but due to offering a lift to someone who was working on Friday, he was still here this morning. He finally left at 9.30.
To get into the Christmas spirit I went down the sops, intending to buy myself an Zmas gift. I found a nice white gold ring, secondhand, which fits perfectly, so treated myself to that (it was les than £50. I also bought another jigsaw, an apricot tart and some cream, three CDs, and a bouquet from the florist comprising nothing but blue flowers to symbolise what should be my last lonely Christmas if my plans for next year come to fruition. It cost just under £15 which is the most I’ve ever spent on flowers for myself and as far as I can remember, the most ANYONE has spent on flowers for me.
I got home ten minutes before noon, so didn’t have logn to get ready before going next door for drinks and nibbles. Two rather nice glasses of mulled wine and lots of nibbles later, I came back home, feeling woozy (no idea if that’s how you spell it). A change of plan was called for, so I sat down and had a go at 2 cryptic crosswords, then played Rocket Mania on the computer – a game I love but try to avoid playing as it takes such a long time.
It’s now 4p.m. I’ve decided to give up any thought of work for today and tomorrow and just do what I feel like and enjoy the peace and quiet so it’s back to the crossword, the jigsaw and the Wii machine. After that I’ll think about preparing some veg for dinner. I might even go to the church service tonight, if I can stay awake. I’ll have to wait and see how I feel. .
TH BEST LAID PLANS
Friday, 23 December 2011
December 23rd
My Christmas started today with my favourite dogs staying last night. The dachshund, Woody, is so adorable I go all gooey when he’s here, giving him far too many hugs and cuddles which he, literally, laps up.
He and his best friend, Snoopy the Labrador, are coming back for NY Eve too which will give me the best start to 2012 I could hope for. I haven’t got much work done today as I wanted to spend as much time with the dogs as I could, being as they were here for such a short time. I worked on a report for Good Neighbours which they wanted made more reader friendly. All I had to do was make it more personal.
My lodger was meant to be leaving this afternoon for his Christmas away but he’s agreed to give a lift to somebody who had to work today, so he won’t be leaving until tomorrow morning which is disappointing, but so long as he goes, that will do. I’m so looking forward to being on my own which is something I truly never thought I would say. The reason I have John as a lodger in the first place is because when I lived alone, I couldn’t stand it. I became thoroughly depressed and suicidal. Now, I would be quite happy to live alone (or with somebody I loved, of course).
Some neighbours are coming round tonight so I’ve had to out extra chairs in my rather tiny living room. It now looks like a doctor’s waiting area, but it was either that, or sit in the chilly conservatory. I think Christine and Paul will be brining their new dog - another greyhound, which means even less space! I hope nobody falls over anything!
He and his best friend, Snoopy the Labrador, are coming back for NY Eve too which will give me the best start to 2012 I could hope for. I haven’t got much work done today as I wanted to spend as much time with the dogs as I could, being as they were here for such a short time. I worked on a report for Good Neighbours which they wanted made more reader friendly. All I had to do was make it more personal.
My lodger was meant to be leaving this afternoon for his Christmas away but he’s agreed to give a lift to somebody who had to work today, so he won’t be leaving until tomorrow morning which is disappointing, but so long as he goes, that will do. I’m so looking forward to being on my own which is something I truly never thought I would say. The reason I have John as a lodger in the first place is because when I lived alone, I couldn’t stand it. I became thoroughly depressed and suicidal. Now, I would be quite happy to live alone (or with somebody I loved, of course).
Some neighbours are coming round tonight so I’ve had to out extra chairs in my rather tiny living room. It now looks like a doctor’s waiting area, but it was either that, or sit in the chilly conservatory. I think Christine and Paul will be brining their new dog - another greyhound, which means even less space! I hope nobody falls over anything!
Thursday, 22 December 2011
good news
Both my writing pupils have had successes, just in time for Christmas.
One has had a win in a Writers’ Forum poetry comp, and the other has sold a story to Fiction Feast. I’m so happy for them.
I’m especially happy today as my two favourite dogs are here overnight. It really is such a pleasure having them here, I’d do it for free. That said, it’s quite difficult to type with a dachshund on your lap.
I’m making good progress with Saving the Inner Child now that I’ve made up my mind what to include. I’ve decided to insert much of the previous book I wrote about my life (A MOTHER’S LOVE: HOW I LEARNED TO LIVE WITHOUT IT) as it sums up where I was, and how much difference the new therapy has made. As I’ve been rereading it, I can sense my despair on every page.
Now I’ve added so much content I need to go through the whole book again, before adding more about the therapy itself. The plan is to have it ready to submit to agents by the end of January.
I’ve just been to my last crossword class of the year as there isn’t one next week (boo). It’s become one of the highlights of my week which just goes to show the state of my social life. Room for improvement, as they say.
Now to have a cup of tea and get a few more kisses and cuddles from Woody the best little dog in the whole wide world.
Almost forgot to say - I have a story out in The Weekly News. They've used three this week which is great.
One has had a win in a Writers’ Forum poetry comp, and the other has sold a story to Fiction Feast. I’m so happy for them.
I’m especially happy today as my two favourite dogs are here overnight. It really is such a pleasure having them here, I’d do it for free. That said, it’s quite difficult to type with a dachshund on your lap.
I’m making good progress with Saving the Inner Child now that I’ve made up my mind what to include. I’ve decided to insert much of the previous book I wrote about my life (A MOTHER’S LOVE: HOW I LEARNED TO LIVE WITHOUT IT) as it sums up where I was, and how much difference the new therapy has made. As I’ve been rereading it, I can sense my despair on every page.
Now I’ve added so much content I need to go through the whole book again, before adding more about the therapy itself. The plan is to have it ready to submit to agents by the end of January.
I’ve just been to my last crossword class of the year as there isn’t one next week (boo). It’s become one of the highlights of my week which just goes to show the state of my social life. Room for improvement, as they say.
Now to have a cup of tea and get a few more kisses and cuddles from Woody the best little dog in the whole wide world.
Almost forgot to say - I have a story out in The Weekly News. They've used three this week which is great.
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
SHORTEST DAY
What a day!
It's the 21st December which is the shortest day, but it hasn't felt like that to me.
Another ‘funny’ email was generated by my PC so I knew I still had a problem. I bought Avast! as it was recommended as the best anti virus programme, ran a scan with it (over an hour) and STILL had a problem so I called their support number. More than four hours later they seem to have fixed it. I haven’t been able to work all day – I’ve had to sit in front of the computer, watching as a man on the other side of the world, operated my pc remotely. I just hope it’s OK now.
Fortunately, Woody the dachshund and Snoopy the Labrador are arriving tomorrow bright and early so that will help put me back into a good mood.
Computers !!%%&^&!%&%!&%&!%&!%&%!&(*&!)(_!^!^(!^”(^!!!!
It's the 21st December which is the shortest day, but it hasn't felt like that to me.
Another ‘funny’ email was generated by my PC so I knew I still had a problem. I bought Avast! as it was recommended as the best anti virus programme, ran a scan with it (over an hour) and STILL had a problem so I called their support number. More than four hours later they seem to have fixed it. I haven’t been able to work all day – I’ve had to sit in front of the computer, watching as a man on the other side of the world, operated my pc remotely. I just hope it’s OK now.
Fortunately, Woody the dachshund and Snoopy the Labrador are arriving tomorrow bright and early so that will help put me back into a good mood.
Computers !!%%&^&!%&%!&%&!%&!%&%!&(*&!)(_!^!^(!^”(^!!!!
Monday, 19 December 2011
Decision time.
I’ve been working on the book again today, managing another two thousand words which is great. However, I’m having trouble deciding what to put in and what to leave out. Much of the background is already included in the first book A MOTHER’S LOVE: HOW I LEARNED TO LIVE WITHOUT IT but as I can’t assume that anyone reading this new one will have read that…….
The obvious thing may be to combine them, making this latest book part two of the old one. I will have to give it some thought before I go very much further. If anyone has any thoughts on the matter, I’d be grateful for all and any comments.
It’s my Writers Club Xmas do tonight, but I’m staying home. I decided to give it a miss in case of snow as it’s a longish walk from the station to the venue. Of course, there’s no snow so I could have gone ….
I spent half an hour brainstorming ideas for a crime story competition. The theme is 10 and the prize is two places at the Harrogate Crime Writing Weekend next July. I’d love to go there so it’s definitely worth having a bash at a story. I now have the germ of an idea so I’m going to let it soak for a few days and see if it starts to grow.
Tomorrow is Christmas lunch with the Good Neighbours group. I volunteered there before they switched the days. 140 people are going and I’m really looking forward to it. Of course it means another day when I won’t get much work done. It’s a good job it’s Christmas.
The obvious thing may be to combine them, making this latest book part two of the old one. I will have to give it some thought before I go very much further. If anyone has any thoughts on the matter, I’d be grateful for all and any comments.
It’s my Writers Club Xmas do tonight, but I’m staying home. I decided to give it a miss in case of snow as it’s a longish walk from the station to the venue. Of course, there’s no snow so I could have gone ….
I spent half an hour brainstorming ideas for a crime story competition. The theme is 10 and the prize is two places at the Harrogate Crime Writing Weekend next July. I’d love to go there so it’s definitely worth having a bash at a story. I now have the germ of an idea so I’m going to let it soak for a few days and see if it starts to grow.
Tomorrow is Christmas lunch with the Good Neighbours group. I volunteered there before they switched the days. 140 people are going and I’m really looking forward to it. Of course it means another day when I won’t get much work done. It’s a good job it’s Christmas.
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Debugging my computer
Alan, from my writer club, came round this morning to see if he could mend my PC which has been seding emails, I didn't send (!). He found 4 trojans and all kinds of otehr problems which AVG hadn't noticed, let alone fixed. He recommends trying avast, so when I'm in the mood, I might try downloading that.
Before he arrived, I did a hasty back up onto CD just in case. The programmes he ran to fix things took HOURS so from 10 a.m. until now I've benn hanging about, feeling frustrated because I wanted to work. I caught up on my accounts while I was waiting. Now I CAN go back to work, I'm not in the mood which is typical.
I'm going to try and force myself and se what happens. I's say catch up tomorrow but there's a lunch time carol concert (St pauls cahedral choir no less) which I'd like to get to if at all possible.
Although I'm feeling so much better (happier even) than I have done in YEARS, I still worry that I'm not doing enough. I'm going to have to find a way to fix that for next year. I know that I have often worked too hard in the past which didn't work for me either. It's a balance In need to find.
Before he arrived, I did a hasty back up onto CD just in case. The programmes he ran to fix things took HOURS so from 10 a.m. until now I've benn hanging about, feeling frustrated because I wanted to work. I caught up on my accounts while I was waiting. Now I CAN go back to work, I'm not in the mood which is typical.
I'm going to try and force myself and se what happens. I's say catch up tomorrow but there's a lunch time carol concert (St pauls cahedral choir no less) which I'd like to get to if at all possible.
Although I'm feeling so much better (happier even) than I have done in YEARS, I still worry that I'm not doing enough. I'm going to have to find a way to fix that for next year. I know that I have often worked too hard in the past which didn't work for me either. It's a balance In need to find.
Saturday, 17 December 2011
Being a couch potato and loving it.
I lazed around in bed this morning, as I wanted to finish my first read through of How to do everything and be happy (Peter Jones). Now I know what’s involved I can start writing lists of goals and so on and begin the task of working towards them, step by step.
My emails appear to have been hijacked by something nasty despite my using AVG. Luckily a member of my writers group knows about this kind of thing and is coming round tomorrow morning to see what he can do.
I hope he can fix it!
It took me ages to get started as Outlook Express kept trying to open even though I never use it. Eventually I managed to get Word to start and set to work on the book. I’ve just stopped having managed another 1800 words which was nearly double what I had planned to do today.
Now I’m off for a long soak in the bath. It’s the Strictly Come Dancing final tonight and I’m a HUGE fan. Lots of people, up and down the country, are having Strictly parties. I might have done that too, but my living room is on the small side. If I’m honest, I don’t want to have to miss a second, talking to anybody, which is why I’m having my own, private party. Anyone who rings my bell, or calls tonight, will not get a reply! This series has been the best I can remember thanks to the number of really good dancers who have emerged. I’d like Harry to win, but I can live with either of the others taking the crown as they’re all so brilliant.
Of course, the last two parts of THE KILLING are also on tonight. Luckily I’m able to record them so I can watch it tomorrow if need be. The problem is it’s been so good, I’m not sure I can wait, so I may just have to stay up late.
My emails appear to have been hijacked by something nasty despite my using AVG. Luckily a member of my writers group knows about this kind of thing and is coming round tomorrow morning to see what he can do.
I hope he can fix it!
It took me ages to get started as Outlook Express kept trying to open even though I never use it. Eventually I managed to get Word to start and set to work on the book. I’ve just stopped having managed another 1800 words which was nearly double what I had planned to do today.
Now I’m off for a long soak in the bath. It’s the Strictly Come Dancing final tonight and I’m a HUGE fan. Lots of people, up and down the country, are having Strictly parties. I might have done that too, but my living room is on the small side. If I’m honest, I don’t want to have to miss a second, talking to anybody, which is why I’m having my own, private party. Anyone who rings my bell, or calls tonight, will not get a reply! This series has been the best I can remember thanks to the number of really good dancers who have emerged. I’d like Harry to win, but I can live with either of the others taking the crown as they’re all so brilliant.
Of course, the last two parts of THE KILLING are also on tonight. Luckily I’m able to record them so I can watch it tomorrow if need be. The problem is it’s been so good, I’m not sure I can wait, so I may just have to stay up late.
Friday, 16 December 2011
20,000 words and counting
It’s been a busy, but productive day. I’m reading Peter Jones’ book, HOW TO DO EVERYTHING AND BE HAPPY and finding it really inspirational. So much so, it’s hard to stop reading.
I worked on the book for a while, then needed a break so I called my new best friend, Rae. It was a bit daunting, I’m never very good at calling people for the first time. You’re never sure how you’ll get on, over the phone is different to face to face or on line, but it was great. I could have chatted to her all day. I’m so glad I went to Swanwick. I found my inner child there and I met Rae and so many other lovely people. It really CAN change your life.
After lunch, I made up some more capsules. I’ve decided to wean myself off the Prozac by gradually taking less and less every day so that my body doesn’t notice. DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF without speaking to your GP first.
What I’m doing might not work for you. All I know is that I wanted to get off the drugs and I didn’t want to suffer the side effects. Cutting down the dose was my way to solve that particular problem. I will be free of them before Christmas which is great. I have to go back and see the doctor in the New Year and will tell him what I have done then.
Feeling in need of some fresh air, I decided to pop out for a tour of the charity shops. I have six or more close by. I also wanted a brand new, special, notebook to put into practice some of the techniques listed in Peter’s book. By the time I came home, had tea and a cookie, almost two hours had gone by. I did some more work on the book, stopping when I went through the 20,000 word barrier.
I’ve been feeling tired lately, for various reasons, so it’s important to stay fresh and not to try to do too much.
I’m signing off now and will wind down by putting a few more pieces into the jigsaw.
I worked on the book for a while, then needed a break so I called my new best friend, Rae. It was a bit daunting, I’m never very good at calling people for the first time. You’re never sure how you’ll get on, over the phone is different to face to face or on line, but it was great. I could have chatted to her all day. I’m so glad I went to Swanwick. I found my inner child there and I met Rae and so many other lovely people. It really CAN change your life.
After lunch, I made up some more capsules. I’ve decided to wean myself off the Prozac by gradually taking less and less every day so that my body doesn’t notice. DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF without speaking to your GP first.
What I’m doing might not work for you. All I know is that I wanted to get off the drugs and I didn’t want to suffer the side effects. Cutting down the dose was my way to solve that particular problem. I will be free of them before Christmas which is great. I have to go back and see the doctor in the New Year and will tell him what I have done then.
Feeling in need of some fresh air, I decided to pop out for a tour of the charity shops. I have six or more close by. I also wanted a brand new, special, notebook to put into practice some of the techniques listed in Peter’s book. By the time I came home, had tea and a cookie, almost two hours had gone by. I did some more work on the book, stopping when I went through the 20,000 word barrier.
I’ve been feeling tired lately, for various reasons, so it’s important to stay fresh and not to try to do too much.
I’m signing off now and will wind down by putting a few more pieces into the jigsaw.
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Feeling tired
I think I must have worked too hard yesterday because I can’t get back into the groove today. Of course, that might also be down to going out to the SPice Quiz last night and getting home late! My team came 6th out of 9, mainly because we were pretty useless at recognising celebs wearing Santa hats, or posters advertising Xmas films, like Dumber and Dumber, and others I've never seen.
This morning was spent shopping then tidying up and cleaning the house, ready for Jack’s visit. He’s the man who runs the cryptic crossword class. He was on Eggheads recently but because he wasn’t old in advance, missed half the programme, ringing people to tell them to watch. Luckily I had been recording Eggheads every day, hoping to catch him so today he came round to watch the bits he’d missed and write down all the questions his team were asked.
When he left, I played tennis on the Wii, then thought about getting on with the book, but I don’t think I have the energy. I’m self employed which means I can have a day off whenever I want, so maybe I’ll do that and get stuck back in tomorrow.
Worryingly, an email has gone round, seeming to be from me, but it isn’t. If you got one, please ignore it.
This morning was spent shopping then tidying up and cleaning the house, ready for Jack’s visit. He’s the man who runs the cryptic crossword class. He was on Eggheads recently but because he wasn’t old in advance, missed half the programme, ringing people to tell them to watch. Luckily I had been recording Eggheads every day, hoping to catch him so today he came round to watch the bits he’d missed and write down all the questions his team were asked.
When he left, I played tennis on the Wii, then thought about getting on with the book, but I don’t think I have the energy. I’m self employed which means I can have a day off whenever I want, so maybe I’ll do that and get stuck back in tomorrow.
Worryingly, an email has gone round, seeming to be from me, but it isn’t. If you got one, please ignore it.
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Saving my inner child
I’m back on track, getting on with the next book, provisionally entitled Saving my inner child. You could call it a self help guide, designed to complement the wonderful book I found just a few short months ago, RESCUING THE INNER CHILD by Penny Parks. My book is about the therapy I’ve been doing since reading it and the massive changes it’s bringing about.
For the first time since I started writing in 1991, I’m writing something because I have something I think is worth saying, rather than as a way to make money. There must be thousands of people who, like me, had a bad childhood which has turned them into unhappy, unfulfilled adults. I want them to know that they can get better. I’m fifty six. I thought it was too late for me. I’d tried so many other therapies and treatments. I’d given up any hope of finding something that actually worked. Now I have found something, I want to let everybody know how great that feels. I’m starting to look forward to the future instead of wishing I could die.
I wrote 2300 words today. That together with an annoying cut on my right index finger, and having to play the keyboard for at least a few minutes every day, means that my arms are aching so much, I can hardly type!
It’s quiz night at Spice Yorkshire tonight. The weather is TERRIBLE. Cold, biting winds, driving rain. I really don’t fancy going out but know that it will do me good if I do. Time to check the coffers. Maybe I can treat myself to a cab.
Lulu have just paid me £7.67 for book sales so that’s a start. Each time they sell my books, it’s a great feeling because, apart from writing the books, they do all the work.
For the first time since I started writing in 1991, I’m writing something because I have something I think is worth saying, rather than as a way to make money. There must be thousands of people who, like me, had a bad childhood which has turned them into unhappy, unfulfilled adults. I want them to know that they can get better. I’m fifty six. I thought it was too late for me. I’d tried so many other therapies and treatments. I’d given up any hope of finding something that actually worked. Now I have found something, I want to let everybody know how great that feels. I’m starting to look forward to the future instead of wishing I could die.
I wrote 2300 words today. That together with an annoying cut on my right index finger, and having to play the keyboard for at least a few minutes every day, means that my arms are aching so much, I can hardly type!
It’s quiz night at Spice Yorkshire tonight. The weather is TERRIBLE. Cold, biting winds, driving rain. I really don’t fancy going out but know that it will do me good if I do. Time to check the coffers. Maybe I can treat myself to a cab.
Lulu have just paid me £7.67 for book sales so that’s a start. Each time they sell my books, it’s a great feeling because, apart from writing the books, they do all the work.
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Monday, 12 December 2011
Christmas is coming!
I took the day off yesterday, not even turning on the computer. I think it’s good to do that every now and then.
This morning, I had to go to Boston Spa with my lodger to pick up some wicker chairs I’d won on eBay. I wanted one of them for my spare bedroom/hideaway. It seemed to make sense to visit the shops on the way home. I bought MORE tinsel and glittery things for the tree, and more cards as I was running out.
The NAWG results were emailed to me erlier today and it was great to see a couple of names I recognised had made the short list. Congratulations, Dan and Simon. Note to Dan, I really loved your story and trust you will be sending it elsewhere.
I squeezed in my half an hour on the keyboard and some time on the Nintendo Wii. I want to be fitter. After dancing for about ten minutes at the Spice do on Saturday, I was creaking all over.
The do was good, but….. Everybody seemed to be in groups, which I guess is normal for a Christmas do. I got ‘adopted’ by a woman who was four sheets to the wind and very loud with it. There were a good mix of people there, but it was impossible to make conversation, unless they were on the same table as once the meal was over, the music started.
I’m going to another Spice event on Wednesday – another quiz, where it will be easier to talk to people.
Tonight, I’m asking the questions for the quiz team. We’re bottom of the first division by quite a long way. I’ve only played twice so they can’t blame me! Privately we’re hoping to be demoted as Division 2 is a lot friendlier. Some teams take the whole thing VERY seriously. The quiz I set for the Mercedes do went down well so if you need any Christmassy questions, get in touch and I can email them to you.
Tomorrow, I’m getting on with the new book. No distractions!
This morning, I had to go to Boston Spa with my lodger to pick up some wicker chairs I’d won on eBay. I wanted one of them for my spare bedroom/hideaway. It seemed to make sense to visit the shops on the way home. I bought MORE tinsel and glittery things for the tree, and more cards as I was running out.
The NAWG results were emailed to me erlier today and it was great to see a couple of names I recognised had made the short list. Congratulations, Dan and Simon. Note to Dan, I really loved your story and trust you will be sending it elsewhere.
I squeezed in my half an hour on the keyboard and some time on the Nintendo Wii. I want to be fitter. After dancing for about ten minutes at the Spice do on Saturday, I was creaking all over.
The do was good, but….. Everybody seemed to be in groups, which I guess is normal for a Christmas do. I got ‘adopted’ by a woman who was four sheets to the wind and very loud with it. There were a good mix of people there, but it was impossible to make conversation, unless they were on the same table as once the meal was over, the music started.
I’m going to another Spice event on Wednesday – another quiz, where it will be easier to talk to people.
Tonight, I’m asking the questions for the quiz team. We’re bottom of the first division by quite a long way. I’ve only played twice so they can’t blame me! Privately we’re hoping to be demoted as Division 2 is a lot friendlier. Some teams take the whole thing VERY seriously. The quiz I set for the Mercedes do went down well so if you need any Christmassy questions, get in touch and I can email them to you.
Tomorrow, I’m getting on with the new book. No distractions!
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Working well
I feel like I’m making progress again which is great. As planned, I’ve started to wean myself off Prozac by taking a reduced dose every day. I’m happy to say that so far, I don’t seem to be suffering any ill effects.
DO NOT DO AS I’M DOING WITHOUT checking with your GP. What works for me may not work for you.
I have been trying to figure out what I want to write next, and where I want to go with my life, now that it feels worth living again. I’ve decided to get the next book written (about the therapy I did recently) so that other people can find out how to change their lives for the better. No sooner had I made that decision, than I sat down to write a thousand words with little effort.
The critiques from the NAWG competition should have started to arrive. I’ve already heard from the man who came third. He sent me an email saying that he hadn’t been told he’d won yet! I thought NAWG would have done that by now, but they’re probably busy. If anyone paid for a crit, and feels I was harsh, feel free to email your story to me (kinghenryfan@yahoo.co.uk). I always try to be fair and kind, as well as honest, but as I was suffering from a virus at the time, I may have got the tone wrong. If I did, then I apologise. Writing gives so many people so much pleasure, I wouldn’t want to ruin that for anyone.
Now I have to stop. I have another big party to go to tonight. I didn’t did get in until the early hours yesterday, so I need to make sure I’m relaxed and ready to get the most out of tonight’s do. It’s being run by Spice, the group Helen (thanks again) nagged me to join.
DO NOT DO AS I’M DOING WITHOUT checking with your GP. What works for me may not work for you.
I have been trying to figure out what I want to write next, and where I want to go with my life, now that it feels worth living again. I’ve decided to get the next book written (about the therapy I did recently) so that other people can find out how to change their lives for the better. No sooner had I made that decision, than I sat down to write a thousand words with little effort.
The critiques from the NAWG competition should have started to arrive. I’ve already heard from the man who came third. He sent me an email saying that he hadn’t been told he’d won yet! I thought NAWG would have done that by now, but they’re probably busy. If anyone paid for a crit, and feels I was harsh, feel free to email your story to me (kinghenryfan@yahoo.co.uk). I always try to be fair and kind, as well as honest, but as I was suffering from a virus at the time, I may have got the tone wrong. If I did, then I apologise. Writing gives so many people so much pleasure, I wouldn’t want to ruin that for anyone.
Now I have to stop. I have another big party to go to tonight. I didn’t did get in until the early hours yesterday, so I need to make sure I’m relaxed and ready to get the most out of tonight’s do. It’s being run by Spice, the group Helen (thanks again) nagged me to join.
Friday, 9 December 2011
harsh critique
I find blowing my own trumpet not just hard, but well nigh impossible. Everywhere I look, there are other writers, pushing their books for all their might, yet I can’t seem to be able to do that. My confidence still needs work. It only takes one negative comment and I’m upset. For example, a friend of mine asked for a criqitue when they entered the NAWG competition. I did the crits without knowing who the writers were. She has come back to me saying that she thought my critique was harsh. At once I felt bad even though I KNOW I would never say anything hurtful or cruel. If I did say anything harsh, it was probably just an honest appraisal because for me, without honesty, feedback isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. It certainly isn’t worth paying for. Yet I’m still upset. I don’t make friends easily and thanks to my upbringing, have always felt that I needed to try and ‘buy’ friendship, usually by putting myself last, or giving time I didn’t have or gifts I couldn’t afford.
My friend’s comment almost put my off ever doing critiques again. As a writer, I need people to want to read my books, so what do I do? I can be honest and risk upsetting people or be nice and let them carry on making the same mistakes.
All I know is that if somebody (more than one!) hadn’t told me my stories were weak, and frankly rubbish, I would still be writing the same, weak, rubbish stories and getting precisely nowhere. As it is, I’ve sold literally hundreds of stories to magazines, and won competitions too.
Also on the writing front, I’ve written to a few local writing groups to see if I can get any bookings for next year. I’ve also gone back to the book I started a couple of months ago. That’s the trouble with me. I have so many ideas, it’s hard to decide what to do next. I thought of another idea for a book only this afternoon. Sadly, I can only do one thing at a time.
I added some more published works to ALCS today. Now they’re accepting newspaper articles too so I’ve been able to add three of the pieces I did for the Sunday Times Confessions of a Tourist slot.
Tonight I’m off to a ‘do’ where I’m in charge of the quiz. Frankly I’d rather be able to take part as that way I might win a prize (I won last year) but it’s only fair for somebody else to do the hard work. I have an even bigger do on tomorrow – the Christmas party at Spice, so I hope I can find the energy I need.
My friend’s comment almost put my off ever doing critiques again. As a writer, I need people to want to read my books, so what do I do? I can be honest and risk upsetting people or be nice and let them carry on making the same mistakes.
All I know is that if somebody (more than one!) hadn’t told me my stories were weak, and frankly rubbish, I would still be writing the same, weak, rubbish stories and getting precisely nowhere. As it is, I’ve sold literally hundreds of stories to magazines, and won competitions too.
Also on the writing front, I’ve written to a few local writing groups to see if I can get any bookings for next year. I’ve also gone back to the book I started a couple of months ago. That’s the trouble with me. I have so many ideas, it’s hard to decide what to do next. I thought of another idea for a book only this afternoon. Sadly, I can only do one thing at a time.
I added some more published works to ALCS today. Now they’re accepting newspaper articles too so I’ve been able to add three of the pieces I did for the Sunday Times Confessions of a Tourist slot.
Tonight I’m off to a ‘do’ where I’m in charge of the quiz. Frankly I’d rather be able to take part as that way I might win a prize (I won last year) but it’s only fair for somebody else to do the hard work. I have an even bigger do on tomorrow – the Christmas party at Spice, so I hope I can find the energy I need.
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Wild weather day
I seem to have spent most of the day, apart from crossword class, writing Christmas cards or looking for lost addresses. For some reason, I have a headache. It could be the weather. Just now, I was in the conservatory, finishing a jigsaw, but the wind was howling so much, I gave up. The wind frightens me because it’s so powerful, all we can do is watch and hope it goes away. When I went out, the pavements were more like streams.
I need to get at least a few minutes keyboard practice in so will give up for today, tell myself I can take it easy because I’ve been ill and Christmas is coming, and turn off the pc.
I need to get at least a few minutes keyboard practice in so will give up for today, tell myself I can take it easy because I’ve been ill and Christmas is coming, and turn off the pc.
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Paperwork
It’s been another bitty day where I’ve had to do lots of annoying little jobs, without feeling as though I’ve achieved very much.
Over the past few months, I’ve been trying to enter the Writing Magazine comps because I enjoy writing to a set subject and one day, they have to let me win, don’t they???
I suddenly realised I hadn’t done the latest one with a 14/12 deadline.
The theme was sci fi and as I happen to have a sci fi story which I’ve never managed to place anywhere, I decided I might as well send it off. Of course it had to be made to fit the required length. After that, I invoiced my first 2012 dog boarder, designed some flyers to hand out to people, advertising both my talks and the dog holidays. THEN I finally got to finish the NAWG judging when the short–listed entries that had requested crits were posted back to me.
I took a huge bag full of envelopes to the post box earlier today, so people should be getting them back soon.
The most fun I had to day was trying to decant my antidepressants into other capsules so that I can gradually reduce the dose. I ended up with most of the medicine in the bin, but after a bit of trial and error, managed to get the job done. I now have gradually decreasing doses to take for the next three days. After that, I will have make some more. That way, I should be off them well before Christmas, AND avoid the side effects.
Right now, it’s pouring with rain which is trying to become sleet, the wind is howling and it’s properly cold – it seems that winter is definitely here.
Over the past few months, I’ve been trying to enter the Writing Magazine comps because I enjoy writing to a set subject and one day, they have to let me win, don’t they???
I suddenly realised I hadn’t done the latest one with a 14/12 deadline.
The theme was sci fi and as I happen to have a sci fi story which I’ve never managed to place anywhere, I decided I might as well send it off. Of course it had to be made to fit the required length. After that, I invoiced my first 2012 dog boarder, designed some flyers to hand out to people, advertising both my talks and the dog holidays. THEN I finally got to finish the NAWG judging when the short–listed entries that had requested crits were posted back to me.
I took a huge bag full of envelopes to the post box earlier today, so people should be getting them back soon.
The most fun I had to day was trying to decant my antidepressants into other capsules so that I can gradually reduce the dose. I ended up with most of the medicine in the bin, but after a bit of trial and error, managed to get the job done. I now have gradually decreasing doses to take for the next three days. After that, I will have make some more. That way, I should be off them well before Christmas, AND avoid the side effects.
Right now, it’s pouring with rain which is trying to become sleet, the wind is howling and it’s properly cold – it seems that winter is definitely here.
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
Coming off prozac
I went to my first Christmas do today – lunch with my local gardening club. I don’t usually have much to eat at lunch time and even though I chose the lightest things on the menu – melon to start and ice cream as dessert, I still came away feeling like I’d overeaten.
Apart from that, I haven’t done much today apart from designing and printing some score sheets for Friday’s quiz, and my half an hour keyboard practice. I’m missing Heydays again tomorrow so I can spend the day working. I can start going regularly again next term. I’ve put my name down for 2 lunchtime courses – one dance and one music. There are only a limited number of places so it’s wait and see if my name gets pulled out of the hat.
I’m cutting down the anti depressants I’ve been taking as I want to get them out of my system by January 1st, sooner if possible. I was warned this could be difficult – side effects, feeling ill and so on, but as I never wanted to go on them in the first place, I can cope with that. I need to know if feeling so much better is down to me, and my new ways of thinking, or the tablets.
Apart from that, I haven’t done much today apart from designing and printing some score sheets for Friday’s quiz, and my half an hour keyboard practice. I’m missing Heydays again tomorrow so I can spend the day working. I can start going regularly again next term. I’ve put my name down for 2 lunchtime courses – one dance and one music. There are only a limited number of places so it’s wait and see if my name gets pulled out of the hat.
I’m cutting down the anti depressants I’ve been taking as I want to get them out of my system by January 1st, sooner if possible. I was warned this could be difficult – side effects, feeling ill and so on, but as I never wanted to go on them in the first place, I can cope with that. I need to know if feeling so much better is down to me, and my new ways of thinking, or the tablets.
Monday, 5 December 2011
Staying in tonight - thanks snow!
Today, I went to see my CBT therapist, Rachael, which, although it went well and she is happy that I've made great progress after my sessions with Relate, still disrupted my day.
I fully intended to go to the Writers Club tonight, but it's bitterly cold, with snow and rain, and it's an uphill walk to the venue, so I'm going to have to give it a miss and make more of an effort next year (that sounds so weird!). It's a manuscript evening which I seldom enjoy. Much of the work read out is highbrow/literary/ meaningless to me, so I don't feel able to contribute much.
I’ve been on Prozac since mid October. Rachael advised me to consider coming off the pills by slowly cutting down the dose. She doesn't think the doctor should have prescribed them in the first place as they are meant to restore chemical imbalances in the brain, whereas my problem was my childhood and my ‘faulty’ thinking. I didn’t want to take them in the first place, but that was all the doctor offered. Rachael says I could get some nasty symptoms as a reaction to stopping taking them (I had side effects when I started too). At least I’ve been warned. I’d like to be free of the pills for Christmas if I can.
Tonight is the final of Only Connect, my favourite quiz show which is hidden away on BBC3 or 4 at 8.30. If you’ve never heard of it, try and catch an episode. It’s great.
Workwise, I’ve drafted letters to writers and other groups, offering my services as a speaker, workshop leader etc. I’ve also written to the owners of some of the dogs I’ve boarded this year to let them know I’m now going it alone – only the nice dogs of course!
I fully intended to go to the Writers Club tonight, but it's bitterly cold, with snow and rain, and it's an uphill walk to the venue, so I'm going to have to give it a miss and make more of an effort next year (that sounds so weird!). It's a manuscript evening which I seldom enjoy. Much of the work read out is highbrow/literary/ meaningless to me, so I don't feel able to contribute much.
I’ve been on Prozac since mid October. Rachael advised me to consider coming off the pills by slowly cutting down the dose. She doesn't think the doctor should have prescribed them in the first place as they are meant to restore chemical imbalances in the brain, whereas my problem was my childhood and my ‘faulty’ thinking. I didn’t want to take them in the first place, but that was all the doctor offered. Rachael says I could get some nasty symptoms as a reaction to stopping taking them (I had side effects when I started too). At least I’ve been warned. I’d like to be free of the pills for Christmas if I can.
Tonight is the final of Only Connect, my favourite quiz show which is hidden away on BBC3 or 4 at 8.30. If you’ve never heard of it, try and catch an episode. It’s great.
Workwise, I’ve drafted letters to writers and other groups, offering my services as a speaker, workshop leader etc. I’ve also written to the owners of some of the dogs I’ve boarded this year to let them know I’m now going it alone – only the nice dogs of course!
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Taking it easier
Now that I’ve recovered from the virus, I’ve been taking it easier than I’ve been doing recently. Surprise surprise, but I’ve discovered that it’s possible to do too much work. Life is about getting the balance right, so from now on, it’s work, rest AND play.
I updated the website with the latest news, then pottered about, reading, tidying, sorting things out.
Tomorrow I’m seeing Rachael to see if any more CBT is on offer and if it is, if she thinks it’s worth pursuing. I’ve more or less lost the negative voice (the parrot) who used to sit on my shoulder telling me that I was old, ugly, fat and stupid which is great, but I still need to learn how to raise my esteem and confidence levels so that I can get out and meet more people and enjoy life.
I confess it makes a change for me to feel optimistic but something tells me that 2012 is going to be a good year (for all of us, I hope).
I updated the website with the latest news, then pottered about, reading, tidying, sorting things out.
Tomorrow I’m seeing Rachael to see if any more CBT is on offer and if it is, if she thinks it’s worth pursuing. I’ve more or less lost the negative voice (the parrot) who used to sit on my shoulder telling me that I was old, ugly, fat and stupid which is great, but I still need to learn how to raise my esteem and confidence levels so that I can get out and meet more people and enjoy life.
I confess it makes a change for me to feel optimistic but something tells me that 2012 is going to be a good year (for all of us, I hope).
Saturday, 3 December 2011
More good news
I’m going out to a Christmas do next Friday and because my lodger and I won the quiz last year, this time we get to set the questions. It took a while, but I’ve got everything ready. Setting questions is harder than it looks, believe me.
Before that, I drafted my next column for Writers Forum. I’ll put it to one side until Monday then if it still reads OK, send it off.
I had two nice surprises today. First, Marion Clarke from Yours called, wanting to buy one of my stories. It’s a valentine’s day one which means I get to keep my record intact. Since I began writing fiction seriously, i.e. as a way to make a living, I’ve sold at least one Christmas and one Valentine story every year. As it’s December, I thought I’d lost all chance of achieving that, which just goes to show that while there’s hope….
The other nice thing that happened is that the people whose greyhounds I occasionally look after, recommended my services to other dog owners. I answered the bell to find two ladies and a cute little dog standing there. I’m not sure if the price I quoted put them off, but I hope it doesn’t Molly (the dog) seems like a bit of a sweetheart.
Last night I went to a jazz/rock concert at the church hall only to find the heating had broken down. Luckily I suffer from being too hot most of the time so it was no bother to me, but as the church was planning a meal for some elderly people today, I volunteered to loan them three of my heaters. My next door neighbour is a church warden and is always busy doing something or other. They haven’t brought them back yet….
I’ll be stopping work now as it will soon be time for my Strictly fix. I do love that programme. For me, it’s one of the best things about this time of year. Now to quickly nip upstairs to torture my keyboard for half an hour.
Before that, I drafted my next column for Writers Forum. I’ll put it to one side until Monday then if it still reads OK, send it off.
I had two nice surprises today. First, Marion Clarke from Yours called, wanting to buy one of my stories. It’s a valentine’s day one which means I get to keep my record intact. Since I began writing fiction seriously, i.e. as a way to make a living, I’ve sold at least one Christmas and one Valentine story every year. As it’s December, I thought I’d lost all chance of achieving that, which just goes to show that while there’s hope….
The other nice thing that happened is that the people whose greyhounds I occasionally look after, recommended my services to other dog owners. I answered the bell to find two ladies and a cute little dog standing there. I’m not sure if the price I quoted put them off, but I hope it doesn’t Molly (the dog) seems like a bit of a sweetheart.
Last night I went to a jazz/rock concert at the church hall only to find the heating had broken down. Luckily I suffer from being too hot most of the time so it was no bother to me, but as the church was planning a meal for some elderly people today, I volunteered to loan them three of my heaters. My next door neighbour is a church warden and is always busy doing something or other. They haven’t brought them back yet….
I’ll be stopping work now as it will soon be time for my Strictly fix. I do love that programme. For me, it’s one of the best things about this time of year. Now to quickly nip upstairs to torture my keyboard for half an hour.
Friday, 2 December 2011
Contract signed and sent
I took some advice from people with more experience than me, and was told the contract terms for my non fiction (writing based) book are OK so I’ve signed it and put it in the post.
I thought I’d feel more excited but I’ve always been a tad cautious. I’ll crack open the champagne when the book comes out and I have a copy in my hand. Meanwhile, thanks to everyone who has sent good wishes.
Soon I will need to figure out how to set up a decent web site without breaking the bank. I’ve been using weebly which is free and easy to use, but the publisher says I will need a web site with a ‘landing page’ so that I can encourage people to visit it to get a freebie of some kind. I find all this techy stuff very wearing and hope he can give me some assistance.
I’ve also taken the plunge and taken out public liability insurance so I can go it alone with the dog boarding. With renewing the licence, I’m already more than £120 down, but it’s either that, or risk never seeing Louis or Woody and Snoopy again. The thing I’ve found with insurance is that if you have it, you don’t need it. If you don’t have it, you need it. I told you I was cautious.
I have a story out in the Summer edition of Fast Fiction, the Australian mag I sometimes sell too. I know because a lovely lady was kidn enough to email me a copy of my story – thanks Glynis.
Tonight I’m going out to a jazz rock concert given by a local youth orchestra. I’ve heard them before and they’re good so I’m looking forward to it. It’s at the local church which is less than ten minutes walk way, so I hope it doesn’t rain.
I thought I’d feel more excited but I’ve always been a tad cautious. I’ll crack open the champagne when the book comes out and I have a copy in my hand. Meanwhile, thanks to everyone who has sent good wishes.
Soon I will need to figure out how to set up a decent web site without breaking the bank. I’ve been using weebly which is free and easy to use, but the publisher says I will need a web site with a ‘landing page’ so that I can encourage people to visit it to get a freebie of some kind. I find all this techy stuff very wearing and hope he can give me some assistance.
I’ve also taken the plunge and taken out public liability insurance so I can go it alone with the dog boarding. With renewing the licence, I’m already more than £120 down, but it’s either that, or risk never seeing Louis or Woody and Snoopy again. The thing I’ve found with insurance is that if you have it, you don’t need it. If you don’t have it, you need it. I told you I was cautious.
I have a story out in the Summer edition of Fast Fiction, the Australian mag I sometimes sell too. I know because a lovely lady was kidn enough to email me a copy of my story – thanks Glynis.
Tonight I’m going out to a jazz rock concert given by a local youth orchestra. I’ve heard them before and they’re good so I’m looking forward to it. It’s at the local church which is less than ten minutes walk way, so I hope it doesn’t rain.
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Good news for advent
Crossword class was great today as Jack was back. He looks a bit tired, and he was a tiny bit tetchy, but I think he’s going to be fine. It wasn’t the same without him there to explain how the solutions were reached.
Now for a fanfare!
I have been sent a contract for my non fiction book offering me a royalty of 20% net receipts which I’m told is good. . Obviously I will need to read it carefully and take some advice, but it’s looking good so far. They’re talking about publishing in three months or so which is excellent.
Since the contract came through, I haven’t done very much, I can’t even think straight. I’m so excited that things seem to be coming together at last.
Now for a fanfare!
I have been sent a contract for my non fiction book offering me a royalty of 20% net receipts which I’m told is good. . Obviously I will need to read it carefully and take some advice, but it’s looking good so far. They’re talking about publishing in three months or so which is excellent.
Since the contract came through, I haven’t done very much, I can’t even think straight. I’m so excited that things seem to be coming together at last.
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