Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Wishing my life away

I’m not coping with this as well as I’d hoped. I have work I could be doing, but I can’t face it, not even reading a story somebody sent for me to look at.
I wish I had somebody to talk to. I could call Cruse, but I’d probably end up feeling more upset. My emotions are all over the place. Time has gone into double slow mode. I’m hoping it will get easier when these two dogs have gone home on Thursday. I’m finding it hard to keep my patience with them. It doesn’t help that Sally gives off the most disgusting smells.
At a time like this, people need friends and family. I have no family that wants to speak to me, and any friends I thought I had seem to have vanished like mist on a warm day. It’s hard to know what to say to people who are grieving and sad, but right now, even a chat about the weather would be better than nothing.  
If the dogs weren’t here, I could go into Leeds and wander round the shops or go see a film, but I can’t leave them that long. John, who has been round here quite a lot as I’ve needed the company is at an auction. Tonight he’s going to his Mercedes club, so I can’t even talk to him. I can’t believe it’s still only the 3rd of April.
The fact that it’s raining doesn’t help, though I must admit the garden needed it.


  1. Linda, no-one copes well with bereavement, no matter what the circumstances. You're allowed to feel terrible, get very little done, be impatient, whatever. Don't be so hard on yourself.

    It will ease over time, especially once the funeral is over, and although that may seem a long way away it will come and then it will pass. I promise.

    In the meantime, don't ask too much of yourself, try to eat as well as you can, take a bit of exercise and be kind to yourself.

    As far as chatting about the weather goes, it started off sunny here in Surrey, but has been raining this afternoon, just in time for the hose-pipe ban which starts later this week! Apparently it's been snowing in Scotland after record high temperatures last week. It's all a bit topsy-turvy, which I expect is how you feel, but they're forecasting warmer days again soon. I hope some of those come your way. xx

  2. I am sorry I wasn't here to take your call. As Bernadette says try not to be so hard on yourself and just for the record I think you are incredible. The past can and often is painful and somewhere we don't want to revisit but you will come through the other end Linda, I know you will. xxx