I’m due to see Julia at Relate again
tomorrow. She asked me to sort out some family photos to take with me, which I
did early this morning. She also suggested I wrote a letter to my mother,
expressing my feelings to see if that helps with the grieving process.
I’m not sure it helped, apart from bringing
back unhappy memories. That said, it made a change to tell her how I felt about
the way she treated me, even though she’s gone and can’t read the letter.
I’m taking the letter with me and might
show it to Julia, will have to see.
Once that was out of the way, I carried on planning
the Swanwick course. I’ve done that now, no more tweaking. It’s impossible to
plan it in any detail because you don’t know who’s going to be there. I’ve
tried to make it varied with plenty of interaction so fingers crossed. One
thing I know for sure, NEXT year I’m not teaching. A workshop perhaps, but not this much. Next
year I want to go to Swanwick to enjoy myself.
Now I need to start thinking about what to
take with me. I’ve started replacing my poor quality clothes with decent ones
but haven’t got enough for the whole week. I’m holding back on spending too
much money until the situation in Devon is resolved. The waiting is getting to me, but I expected that.
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