Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Struggling to get well

Yesterday I battled into town for my appointment with Relate, feeling dreadful. My plan was to take a look at the shoe shop I’d found out about via a talk at Heydays (I need wide shoes) but when I got there I felt so bad, I couldn’t be bothered so I wandered around, ending up in the church next to the Relate office. I sat in the chapel for a while then had a chat with a kind man on the desk. They have a drop in service where you can talk to somebody for free so I might give that a go next week. It has the benefit of being free unlike Relate.
In the Relate session, the very nice lady (Julia) suggested that I’ve gone through a bereavement as my relationship with my mother has effectively been terminated, not by her death, but by her going into a home. Julia said that the grieving process has to be gone through and I can’t rush it, so maybe starting on the pills was a good idea. She also suggest getting a book called Rescuing the inner child, so I’ve just ordered that via eBay.
Back to yesterday, I was expecting Rocky, another chocolate Labrador who I’d taken care of back in February, to arrive around five. He turned up at ten which I really didn’t need as I was getting ready to go out. The agency had given me the wrong time. It’s not the first time either. It didn’t matter that much, but if he’d arrived at eleven, nobody would have been home.
Last time Rocky was here, he was as good as gold. This time he’s changed, barking when he wants something which he didn’t do before. This morning he didn’t want his breakfast and his insides were sounding like a broken down cement mixer. Obviously he’s feeling a bit under par, just like me.
I was meant to be going to the Adventure day at Heydays this morning but I’m just not up to it. I was so looking forward to it too. It’s meant to be a chance to get to try new activities and meet people from different classes, but there’s no point going when I feel bad. I’d hate anyone else to catch this virus.
Now to try and get some work done. Not much mind.

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