Sending stories to magazines

As many people know, I’ve not been writing any short stories for the past year due to depression and various other problems. 

I’ve also neglected recycling them too. 

My rule used to be that when a story came back, unsold, I would send it to another market as soon as possible. Lately, I haven’t been doing that much either, so today, I’ve been rewriting/tweeking a few stories and sending them out to magazines. Two to Womans Weekly, 2 to People’s Friend, 2 to Weekly News, 2 to Australia and 1 to Take a Break’s Fiction Feast.

This was sandwiched round a trip to Morrisons as John was going to a car spares place in that area of Leeds. I came back to emails from the lady who runs the Writers Bureau. I was scared to read them in case I’d done something wrong, but it was good news. The first message told me that my test email assignment was OK and that I can now do marking by email. The second was some much needed positive feedback. This is what she wrote – ‘I’ve just looked at another batch of your marking (paper based) and was really impressed with the warmth and help you give.’ It’s given me a real boost, just in time for Swanwick.

I have a busy day tomorrow. I’m seeing Julia at Relate, collecting my iPod connect kit from Bose, having a bra fitting and then spending a couple of hours with a personal shopper. I haven’t actually bought the iPod yet as I can’t decide between the classic and touch versions ( I don’t even know how to connect to wi fi when I’m not at home). I need to have another chat with somebody at Currys.

I’m nto going to work late tonight as I’ve spent too many hours at the PC already. That said, I’ve just managed half an hour on my Wii machine. I haven’t been using it much lately (translated, not at all since Mum died), so I need to get back into the habit or I’ll never get fitter. One day, I also hope to get back to playing with the keyboard I bought in February which, again, has been gathering dust since March. 

One step at a time, I'm getting there, wherever that turns out to be. 

Swanwick short story course taking shape

I've spent a lot of time today on the course I'm teaching at Swanwick. The main propblem has been what to leave out! Short story writing is such a huge subject. I think I'm happy with what I've decided on, so now I have to put it to one side for a few days, then have another look to make sure.
I'm also trying to catch up with my backlog of magazines. I discovered today that in last month's Writign Magazine they were offering a copy of my book as a prize (closing date 4th October, so there's stil time). If I'd noticed earlier, i.e. when the magazine was still on sale!) I could have tweeted and blogged about it, but I didn't so there's not much I can do about it now.
It proves, to me at least, that although I FEEL as though I'm on the mend, I've still got a long way to go. At the back of my mind, Exeter is always there, lurking. When that problem is sorted, I'm going to be so relieved. In fact, I've decided to celebrate here by running an impromptu competition on the blog, prizes and details will be posted as soon as I get the news.
Now to get back to trying to figure out how my new camera works. the manual is 180+ pages long so it might take me a while. 
And George, if you're out there, I miss your messages. I hope you're well.

Good to talk

I spent a very nice couple of hours this morning chatting to Marg over a cup of coffee. She's a member of Leeds Writers Circle and is very easy to talk to which is great. The time simply flew by. She refused all offers of cake and biscuits which means I’ll have to eat the cranberry tea loaf  myself. Terrible shame, I don’t think.

After lunch, I settled down to print out the manual for the camera that came free with my new music system. Hopefully I can get to grips with it in time for Swanwick as I need photos for the article I have planned.  

After what has felt like a busy, tiring couple of days, I’m going to take it a bit easier for the rest of today. Translated that means turning off the computer and going back to sorting through a large pile of papers, probably with the Olympics on in the background.

Time for a fanfare. 

I managed to finish the Yorkshire Post Cryptic crossword AND The Daily Telegraph crossword in under an hour. For me, that’s really good. 

Message to Rae - hope the mpve's gone well. Been thinking of you and sending good vibes. 

Still busy busy busy

Another long day, working on the course for Swanwick. It’s hard when you only have one hour sessions to know what to include and what to leave out. Plus I have no idea how many people will be in each class. Luckily I know the subject, short stories, well enough to not to worry too much. I can always wing it a bit.

The postman brought me two more assignments to mark for the Writers Bureau. I like to get them turned round as quickly as possible, so after taking a break to work in the garden, I did both of those. By then it was time to eat.

That’s the problem with a large garden. I was out there for two and a half hours and all I did was cut the grass, trim the edges and do a bit of a tidy up. I  have a friend coming over tomorrow morning and needed to make sure the garden was presentable. It’s got rather beyond me this year as I haven’t been in the mood to keep on top of it. Consequently, it’s a bit out of control. It’s definitely too much for me to handle by myself which merely reinforces my desire to move.

Now it’s time to do some housework. I’ have a pile of washing up as I haven’t bothered to do any for ages. Then I need to clean and tidy. I might be done in time for the Olympics opening ceremony, but then again I might not.

I finished watching series six of Dexter late last night.

What an ending! What’s going to happen in the next series, that’s what I want to know!

having a smashing day

I think my bio–rhythms may be off kilter. Today I managed to drop my breakfast and break the plate, burn a saucepan full of peas, then baked a tea loaf where the foil I used to line the loaf tin has managed to work its way into the cake.  
I had another go at a test email assignment for the Writers Bureau, so fingers crossed I haven’t messed that up completely too.
Now for a quick catch up. Yesterday’s visit to the University to take part in the research project went quite well I think. It’s the first time I’ve been to that campus. Afterwards, most of us when to the refectory for lunch. The food was good, with plenty of choice. I had roasted vegetables with extra potatoes. If they’re done right, I could eat roast potatoes until I burst. They were great.
When I got back home, there was a large blue plastic bag/envelope waiting for me with another batch of assignments to be marked. As I  only have 48 hours to turn them round, I set to work so that I could post them on my way to crossword class. By the time I’d finished it was late, I was so tired, I had to call it a day.
Woody and Snoopy’s owner called. They’re thinking of taking a holiday in October. They also wanted me to have them for one night in August too, but I’ve just taken a booking for Louis for then. I could offer to stay at their house and ask John to stay here with Louis….
Today, bright and early my Bose Wave music system arrived. It was a doddle to set up. Basically, just unpack it, and plug it in. The sound quality is really good. The first thing I played was Mozart’s Requiem followed by James Blunt’s Same Mistake. I have bought headphones too so I can play music loudly and not annoy the neighbours, but that will have to wait for another night. I have no idea why, but I’m feeling worn out again. All I’ve done today is download loads of stuff for the Writers Bureau, gone through my Spam folder, and worked on that test assignment.. Today being Thursday, I had crossword class to go to. I stayed behind for tea and a chat with Fella (she’s a lady, btw). She’d been talking about a possible trip to Liverpool but now she’s decided to go to Suffolk with her husband. As soon as she mentioned she was thinking of going somewhere with me, he came up with an alternative, which is obviously better for her. I’m glad in a way as I have no idea when I’m actually free as much depends on Devon (I’ve heard nothing as yet).
I thought that as John wasn’t coming round at all, I’d get more work done, but it hasn’t worked out. There’s always tomorrow. Right now, I fancy a nice cup of tea and another dose of Dexter. I only have 2 episodes to watch and that will be the end of series 6.

Half nine and still busy

I wanted to get my latest batch of assignment marked for the Writers Bureau – didn’t realise it was so late. My blog will have to play catch up again!

Hot Hot Hot

I have treated myself to a Bose Wave music system. It should arrive on Friday. I’ve wanted one for ages, but persuading myself to spend so much on a luxury item proved very hard.

Before I went out this morning, I printed off copies of various pages from magazines. I’m going to use these at Swanwick for the market research part of the course. It was hard to force myself to do anything it was so darned hot.

I had to go into town to see Julia again today ( the Relate lady). Sometimes I think I’m asking her for the impossible – to try and figure out what it is I want from the rest of m life. I feel torn between shutting myself way and only going out to teach and run workshops but another part of me would give anything to have friends and some romance in my life.

Julia thinks that I may still be grieving and adjusting to life without my mother. She says it’s OK to take time, figuring things out, if I need to. My argument against that is that you never know how much time you have left. I really would like to spend at least some of my life feeling happy.

I’m not sure why, but lately more often than not, after I‘ve gone out, I wish I hadn’t bothered. Last night’s walk and talk round Leeds was no exception. I’d heard that the man who runs them was brilliant but to me he seemed humourless, dull, and more than a bit annoying. He didn’t want to answer questions and made zero attempt to connect with his audience. That said, he had a lot of knowledge and it was great to discover areas of Leeds that I had no idea existed.

Maybe it’s just me.

Maybe right now, I’m simply very very easily irritated. I have no idea. Tomorrow I’m going to the University to take part in a discussion group as part of some research thing or another. It will be interesting to see how that goes and whether anybody there annoys me. If I’m not melting into a puddle thanks to the hot weather, I might try and find to what they do as regards creative writing courses. Imp wondering whether to study for an MA, just for fun. I used to enjoy studying. The question is, would I STILL enjoy it now???

Summertime, again

Suddenly it’s hot. I wish the weather would give me time to acclimatise. I’ve never been much good in the heat. It wouldn’t be so bad if it got warmer gradually, but……

I’m booked on a walking tour tonight which will be fine, so long as the temperature’s gone down a bit by then. Right now, everything I do seems to be taking three time as long. I’ve prepared some exercises for the Swanwick course, now I need to copy some pages from various magazines for the market research bit but time is ticking away.

John is here, taking a car to pieces. His date appeared to go well in that he’s talking  about seeing her again. I was hoping he’d keep away for a few days but now he’s parked this car on my drive, that’s  not happened yet. I’ve told him I need at least Thursday and Friday without him coming round  so I hope he sticks to it. I want to get Swanwick sorted by the end of the week then I can concentrate on the next book.

Tomorrow I’m seeing the Relate lady again. On the way, I’m going to call into the Boss Wave showroom and have a look see.

Louis the Labrador who was coming to stay for 10 days in September has been cancelled (boo hoo) due to work commitments. Instead he’s coming for a few days at the end of August (hooray). Now I have my September back,  I just might be able to squeeze in an actuall proper holiday, depending on what happens, and when, in Exeter of course.

Guest blog

Peter Jones asks whether early morning starts are an inevitable consequence of the author life. 

I've handed over to my friend, Peter Jones , author of HOW TO DO EVERYTHINg AND BE HAPPY (available for just £1.99 on Kindle)

I'll be back soon, and in case anyone's wondering, the casino night was a washout, mianly because everyone was at least 15 years younger  than me.  I came home early and should have stayed at the neighbour's BBQ> 

 Over to Peter

A few months ago I was asked to give a talk as part of the Essex Book Festival. It wasn’t my first talk, but it was quite a significant milestone in my career as an author, and the first time I realised that talking about writing was almost as much fun as doing so, and significantly less effort. You turn up, smile a lot, tell the audience a little about yourself, maybe read an extract, and then ask for questions. If nobody says anything we can all go home early. Job done. But that never happens.

I’ve been asked some pretty interesting questions over the past few months.
Here are a few off the top of my head:

How long did your book take you to write? (Six months)
What do you think your wife would make of it? (I think she’d like it.)
Are you happy now? (Yes. Happier than I’ve ever been.)
Are you still working in Credit Card Banking? (No.)
Were you the first choice to read the audio version of your book? (No - I had to audition for the part)
Have you got any other books coming out? (Oh yes.)
Have you met ever the real Peter Jones? (Hang on - am I somehow not real?)

There was one Gentleman at the EBF gig who asked if I was like other authors he’d heard of, and rise each morning at 4am to write - to which I laughed and said that was a ridiculous notion, and I didn’t get out of bed a minute before five.

That was back in March. Four months later and I’m astonished to report that I am indeed getting out of bed at 4am on a regular basis, and sitting at my desk, working, a few minutes later.

I have to say I’m a little perplexed as to why this should be the case. Initially I thought it was something to do with the sun rising around that time – but this morning it was so overcast and dark, it might as well of been October. Then I thought it might be my cat wanting me to let her out, but since I’ve relented and reintroduced the cat litter tray my dawn door opening duties are now surplus to requirements. It was only whilst I exchanged emails and text messages with fellow authors Della Galton, Wendy Steele and David Kendrick – all at around six this morning – did I realise that it might actually be something to do with the job. Authors it seems, are larks rather than owls.

Now why on earth would this be the case?
Is it that we love the work so much we can’t wait to get started?
Are you kidding me!? There have been times recently when working on my current book has felt like trying to wrestle an octopus into a paperbag!
Is it that it’s the only time of day when we won’t be disturbed?
Maybe – though the internet never sleeps and facebook is only a click away.
Is it that our brains are so chock full of exciting ideas that they wake us up in the morning so that we can write them all down?
Unlikely. In my case my brain is probably so sick of dreaming about formatting errors and kindle sales that it’s waking me up in the hopes I’ll do something more interesting!
The truth is I have no idea why my body clock seems to have shifted. All I know is that daft-O’clock in the morning now feels right somehow, and if I happen to lie in till seven or eight, half the day has gone!

But perhaps myself, Dave, Della, Wendy, and the unknown authors that the Gentleman from the EBF knows about, are in the minority. Perhaps it’s nothing to do with being an author. I’d love to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, it’s 2pm – time to call it a day!

 

 

trouble at mill

Having problems with blog, normal serviuce may be resumed, eventually.

http://peterjonesauthor.com/wp-content/uploads/clock.jpg As it's Sunday, and I'm busy working on my short story course for Swanwick and the new book, I'm handing over to Peter Jones for the day. He's the author of How to do everything and be happy, a book which I very much enjoyed and which helped me through recent hard times. It's available on Kindle for just £1.99 I tried to add a photo link but not sure if it worked, so if this post has extra menaingless scribbles, that will be why. Before I pass you to Peter though, a note on last night. The casino evening. Not good. I was easily the oldest one there, it was nosy chaotic and disgorganised. By 9.35 we hadn't even been into the casino proper. I decided I'd had enough and went home. The annoying thing was, I had to leave Paul's birtday BBQ to go there. ............................................................................ Peter Jones asks whether early morning starts are an inevitable consequence of the author life. A few months ago I was asked to give a talk as part of the Essex Book Festival. It wasn’t my first talk, but it was quite a significant milestone in my career as an author, and the first time I realised that talking about writing was almost as much fun as doing so, and significantly less effort. You turn up, smile a lot, tell the audience a little about yourself, maybe read an extract, and then ask for questions. If nobody says anything we can all go home early. Job done. But that never happens. I’ve been asked some pretty interesting questions over the past few months. Here are a few off the top of my head: How long did your book take you to write? (Six months) What do you think your wife would make of it? (I think she’d like it.) Are you happy now? (Yes. Happier than I’ve ever been.) Are you still working in Credit Card Banking? (No.) Were you the first choice to read the audio version of your book? (No - I had to audition for the part) Have you got any other books coming out? (Oh yes.) Have you met ever the real Peter Jones? (Hang on - am I somehow not real?) There was one Gentleman at the EBF gig who asked if I was like other authors he’d heard of, and rise each morning at 4am to write - to which I laughed and said that was a ridiculous notion, and I didn’t get out of bed a minute before five. That was back in March. Four months later and I’m astonished to report that I am indeed getting out of bed at 4am on a regular basis, and sitting at my desk, working, a few minutes later. I have to say I’m a little perplexed as to why this should be the case. Initially I thought it was something to do with the sun rising around that time – but this morning it was so overcast and dark, it might as well of been October. Then I thought it might be my cat wanting me to let her out, but since I’ve relented and reintroduced the cat litter tray my dawn door opening duties are now surplus to requirements. It was only whilst I exchanged emails and text messages with fellow authors Della Galton, Wendy Steele and David Kendrick – all at around six this morning – did I realise that it might actually be something to do with the job. Authors it seems, are larks rather than owls. Now why on earth would this be the case? Is it that we love the work so much we can’t wait to get started? Are you kidding me!? There have been times recently when working on my current book has felt like trying to wrestle an octopus into a paperbag! Is it that it’s the only time of day when we won’t be disturbed? Maybe – though the internet never sleeps and facebook is only a click away. Is it that our brains are so chock full of exciting ideas that they wake us up in the morning so that we can write them all down? Unlikely. In my case my brain is probably so sick of dreaming about formatting errors and kindle sales that it’s waking me up in the hopes I’ll do something more interesting! The truth is I have no idea why my body clock seems to have shifted. All I know is that daft-O’clock in the morning now feels right somehow, and if I happen to lie in till seven or eight, half the day has gone! But perhaps myself, Dave, Della, Wendy, and the unknown authors that the Gentleman from the EBF knows about, are in the minority. Perhaps it’s nothing to do with being an author. I’d love to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, it’s 2pm – time to call it a day!

Enjoying a lazier day, sunny too.

I’m taking it a bit easier today.

I stayed in bed late, reading a book of poetry then spent the morning tidying up.

I’ve decided that if I want to attract love into my life, then I need to make my life more attractive. Loosely translated = take a bit more care with my appearance and try to keep the house tidier. I joined a new dating site yesterday run by Classic fm. The first profile I looked at seemed perfect – tall, bearded, lots in common, so I sent him a message. He came back straightaway saying he’d recently met somebody. Well, at least he bothered to reply.

This evening, I’ve been invited to a birthday BBQ at number 121, down the road. It’s not really my cup of tea which is lucky as I accidentally double–booked myself. That means I can stay at the BBQ for an hour and then go into town for a casino night with Spice. I’ve never actually been in a proper casino. I’ve LOOKED into the one at Santander in Northern Spain and I’ve been to charity evenings where pontoon and other games were played, but that’s about it. The evening consists of a meal, some tuition (!) then we can try our luck in the casino.

As it’s a bit of a walk from the station, I’m planning on getting the train to Leeds then taking a cab so that I can arrive there fresh. Whether I’ll do the same coming home or be even more extravagant and get a taxi ALL the way, time will tell. It depends how well the evening goes.

At the moment, I’m feeling a lot stronger. The only niggle I have is that I’ve felt this way before only to have another juggernaut come along and flatten me. So long as things carry on like this, I’m fairly sure I will have the strength to fight social services, the medical and legal professions, etc. At the moment, everything is on hold until I know which way things are going down in Devon. The problem is, I’ve never been much good at waiting for other people, but I don’t have any choice.

I’ve been writing again, not fiction, not yet anyway, although ideas keep jumping into my head. I’m back working on the follow up book to The Treasury of Ideas. I’m up to 30,000 words now which is good. Next week, I’m going to be working on my Swanwick course. I have a vague idea of what each session will comprise but there’s still a lot of work to do. If you anyone who’s thinking of going, do give them a nudge, even to go for the day. I think it’s an amazing event and would like everyone to be able to sample it.

Note to Jacula. That system is beyond me, far too complicated. It was enough trouble figuring out a whole new email system. Yes, it’s Dexter, the TV series. I used to get FX on my TV package but Virgin took it away, so now I have to either buy or hire the box

Too much work makes Linda tired (or something like that)

It’s half nine. I’ve spent AGES trying to get to grips with the email system of marking scripts for the Writers Bureau. I HOPE I’ve figured it out but if I’ve done it all wrong, the woman in charge will be sure to let me know. I'm too tired to write anymore having been working on the next book for hours too. Time for more  Dexter. 

BTW my ex's date was postponed until Sunday!

Why I'm annoyed

You know how some things annoy you? Well I’d had quite  a good day, finished my Writers Forum column, went back to work on the next book in the Treasury series, went to crossword class and so forth. It wasn’t raining either.

Then, just now, I went outside to bring in the washing and found the gate across the drive was open. My ex ‘rents’ the garage from me in return for cutting my grass and helping me to walk any large dogs that I board. The number of times that he has left the small gate unbolted are numerous, but this time it was one of the big gates, swinging loose. So I overreacted. Went into the garage and tipped a box of his things on to the floor. I’ve also left the padlock undone. He’ll think somebody’s been in there which may just teach him to shut gates in the future.  He also told me he plans to park a car on my drive while he makes it roadworthy. What’s annoying (I don’t use the drive as I don’t drive – how’s that for clunky writing)? The fact that he didn’t ask me before he bought the car but waited until afterwards.  I was sorely tempted to say no.

So why am I really angry? Because he has a date and I don’t. I’m actually delighted for him and really really want it to lead to something for him but it still doesn’t seem fair. He has so many bad points, which I won’t list here as he sometimes reads my blog  whilst I have so many good points (I think this learning to like myself is beginning to work), it’s just not fair.

There, rant over. Now to finish what I was doing then treat myself to an episode (or 2) of Dexter. 

BTW thanks for the feedback about the Bose Wave. I've asked them to send me a brochure. 

An expensive day, but good for me )I hope)

My trip to the hairdresser yesterday didn’t result in a complete new look. In the end I bottled it. 

the lady took a couple of inches off the length and layered it a bit. It looks a lot better but it’s hardly a whole new me.

I’d spoken to the Relate lady about the problems I’m having now that my world has changed. I’ve always thought about what other people wanted, and tried to do whatever it was I thought they, and particularly Mum, wanted. Now I’m on my own. I can do whatever I like. It’s not just different, it’s strange and unsettling. It’s as though I’ve landed in this whole new world where the only person I have to take into consideration is me. I’ve never been good at spending money on myself. I’ve bought cheap clothes, often second hand. I’ve never had a beauty routine. Never had a manicure, or a makeover. It was time to start making changes, so I went straight from the hairdresser to Debenhams where this young girl showed me how to use makeup. I ended up spending a small fortune (to me anyway) and  booking a follow up appointment for the week before Swanwick so that she can remind me what to do in time for my big holiday.

By then  I was on a roll. I called in at Jessops to look at digital SLRs but didn’t buy one. I used to be a good photographer, by which I mean I took photos of fish to go with my articles and even had quite a few photos with an agency, but did I want to do that kind of thing again? I certainly had no intention of writing about fish, let alone photographing them so why did I need a big, bulky camera?

So I called in at a jewellers instead. I’d spotted a gold and diamond bracelet in the window a few days before but there was no price on it. I went in, tried it on, and bought it. It was second-hand but is still the most expensive piece of jewellery I have ever owned. It didn’t stop there. AT the jeweller I happened to see a ring that I rather liked so I bought that too.

I was out again last night to a disappointing dinner shuffle with Spice. Disappointing as there were only 8 people there so there was no point in moving between courses. I had to decide whether to cut and run early (there’s only one train an hour) or get a cab home. I got a cab.

A VERY expensive day was over.

Today I’ve been working on my Writers Forum column, then went to one of my writes groups. I also got paid for the first time by The Writers Bureau so I am officially a tutor. It’s the first time I’ve had a ‘proper’ job (i.e. not self employed) for decades. I think I kind of like it.

A day spent in Leeds beckons

I was still working at 9.45 last night (so much for semi retirement).

I recently started working as a tutor for the Writers Bureau. Because the procedures are all new, it takes me quite a while to mark each script. I’m sure I’ll speed up given time but when you start something new, it’s important to try and get things right. I’m not in it for the money. The truth is, I always wanted to teach. I applied to teachers training college when I left school and was accepted by one of the best in the country (Borough Road). I was also accepted by London University.

I didn’t take up either place. Instead I took a series of not very good jobs. Why is too complicated to explain here, but, as you might guess, it had a lot to do with my parents. It wasn’t until I was in my forties that I even thought about writing. I casually mentioned the idea one day and my husband immediately encouraged me to sign up for, you guessed it, a Writers Bureau course. So now things have come full circle. I’m not teaching natural science of English as I’d hoped, but writing instead.

Yesterday I sold my music separates on eBay to this very nice man who turned out to be heavily into music. I shamelessly picked his brain over what system I should get. I’d bought a cheap and cheerful compact system but longed for something better. He recommended a Bose Wave. They are expensive with a capital E but for sound quality, he reckoned they were the bees knees. So, I’m going to get one. I’m actually going to spend something like a thousand pounds on a music system. Even typing that sounds daunting especially when the man also recommended getting an iPod too!

 My whole life I’ve got by on second had and second best, cheep and not so cheerful. It’s going to take time and effort to change that but I’m determined to have a go.  

Music has always been one of my biggest loves. I was musically gifted at school and was sent to music college to develop my talent. Sadly I wasn’t allowed to practise at home and after a year, I stopped going to college, playing the clarinet, the recorder, the piano…. Sadly, I can’t play anything anymore. It’s been too long, but I still love music and I love to sing. Once life has settled down a bit, I must try and ferret out some kind of choir and make an effort to go to it. Right now, I’m sticking with one day at a time. If I even try to think ahead, my mind goes into freefall. One step at a time. Today, I’m off into the city to see Julia, then on to a hairdresser to get some advice about my hair. I may even pop into Currys and have a chat about cameras. What I’m after is a proper camera, a digital SLR with video capability. You may sense a theme here, but I used to be heavily into photography, back in the days when people used slides not memory sticks. I still have hundreds of photos with Frank Lane (www.flpa.co.uk  search under Linda Lewis). I’ve had a digital camera since they first came out, but it’s not capable of taking the kind of photos I used to take. Of course, a decent digital SLR doesn’t come cheap so again I’m going to see if I like myself enough to actually spend the money.

Tonight is another dinner shuffle with Spice so I hope the rain holds off. I’m tired of going out in the evening and splashing through puddles. What the rain is doing to my strawberries is a nightmare.

News from the Land Registry

This morning, I received the paperwork from The Land Registry to say that Mum’s house is now in my name. It was an emotional moment. Back in 1994, that was the first house Gareth and I looked at when we decided to move up from London. When Mum decided to follow me, the house was still for sale and she bought it. Now it’s mine. On one level that means that I’m better off than I have ever been in my entire life. There’s just one problem. I have nobody to share my good fortune with. Family, friends, these are what counts in life. All money does is make life easier.  I still long for the support of a loving family. When it comes down to it, that’s all I’ve ever really wanted. I still have a dream that one day, a man will walk into my life and make me part of his family. I just have to believe that dreams really can come true.

Right now, I’m trying my hardest to stay focussed on the present as until Denis moves out I can’t make any major decisions. I feel as though the fog is finally starting to clear. My aim to ease myself back into writing mode is working, albeit slowly. As I;ve been going through my boxes of paperwork, ideas keep coming to me, and I know that one day soon one of them will prove irresistible and I’ll have to sit down and write the story. To be honest, that day can’t come soon enough.

Major news on the ex–husband front John has finally got round to asking somebody out for a drink. I so hope it works out for him. It’s been far too long (for both of us!).  

Recycling

I’ve been going through my huge piles of mags and cuttings and getting rid of as much as I can. Partly this is in readiness for my eventual house move, but it’s more than that, it’s about setting myself free. I don’t need a ton of cuttings to help me find ideas. I can do that on my own.

Annoyingly the pond I had put in is leaking. It’s taken me an age to be sure thanks to all the rain. I’ve emailed to complain but haven’t a clue what they can do about it.

I’m not in the mood to write anymore. I’ve been in the garden and feel in need of a scrub down so it’s time for a cup of tea and a soak.

Semi retirement beckons

It’s been a weird few weeks. Since the problem in Exeter sorted itself out (fingers crossed), I’ve been wondering where to go and what to do with my life. Until now, I’ve always worked. For the past ten years, my job has been writing stories. I’ve had to write  what editors wanted. Now I have a financial cushion, the pressure to make money is relaxed so I’ve decided (at least I think I have ) to semi retire, once everything’s sorted. Loosely translated that means instead of working all the hours I could squeeze in, I’ll cut right back and work for three, maybe four days a week and spend the rest of the time doing other things. I’ve recently been taken on as a tutor for the Writers Bureau which I’m already enjoying more than I thought I would. I always wanted to teach and finally that dream is starting to come true. Not having to worry about money also means that I can write more of the stories I want to write rather than having to stick to ones aimed at the best paying market (for me, that’s Fiction Feast).

I took another big step today. I arranged to go and see a hairdresser and get some advice about what to d with my hair. Right now it’s a mess as I’ve been letting it grow. I’m not one of these people who likes to spend an hour each morning, doing their hair and make up, so I’m hoping the hairdresser can come up with something that’s easy to maintain.

I can learn lots of things easily, but anything remotely fashion related is a mystery to me. I was never taught or shown or encouraged to take care of my appearance when I was young, and had no sisters to practice on either. I am, frankly, lost and it’s not just my hair.  My entire wardrobe of clothes needs to be dumped, but I have no idea what I should be buying. What’s too old/too young/too short and so on, I haven’t a Scooby doo.

While I’m at Swanwick, my friend Rae, who knows about these things, is going to take me out on Tuesday (that’s my day off) and give me a crash course in what to wear. I might even let her loose with my make up too.

My plan for the next couple of hours is to have yet another clear out. I have piles and piles of cuttings from papers and mags, and piles of magazines. I squirrel them away against the day when I can’t think of ideas for stories, even though I know perfectly well that coming up with ideas is easy for me. If it did ever proves difficult, I can always read my own book! (for details see my web site www.akacatherinehoward.weebly.com )

Sunshine among tthe showers

It’s so nice to see a bit of sunshine amongst the showers. It’s still too wet to cut the grass – maybe tomorrow.

My mood feels a bit sunnier today too which is good. I went to Heydays this morning for play reading. We read two short plays, neither of which were very good, but at least it was distracting. I’ve often thought about offering them one of my plays, but never quite get round to it.

Afterwards, I met up with Tom from Arts and Minds. The plan is to run a couple of workshops, on fillers or coming up with ideas, one as part of a larger festival and the other as a one off, in September and October. He’s even offering payment which is great. The more I can get my name known locally the better.

Back home, I set to work revamping some Christmas stories. They are ones I wrote last year for Fiction Feast but which didn’t sell. By the time they rejected them I didn’t have time to send them anywhere else. I’ve rewritten two which I’ve sent off but a third is proving more troublesome. I want to try it on Womans Weekly so it needs an extra bit of something or other. If I leave it overnight, an idea might come to me.

Soon be time to get ready to go out again as tonight is a quiz at Spice. Unless I get put on the right table, I have zero chance of winning as it’s all about events of the last sixty years. History is definitely NOT my bag.

I brought back a doggy bag from the restaurant last night so I’m having that, plus a few extra bits, for tonight’s meal. Waste not, want not, and all that jazz.

Now all I need is for it to stay dry for a few hours……….

Lack of enthusiasm

I’m trying to work up some enthusiasm and having great difficulty. The dogs are still here as their owner came home to 2 defrosted freezers and needed an extra day to get sorted. They’re now due to leave at about 8p.m.

Once they go, it will be all systems go, as I will need to give the house a bit of a clean. There are black hairs everywhere!

I haven’t been advertising the dog boarding service so I now have a long gap until mid September before I have another paying guest (Louis, the loveable chocolate labrador). 

Sorry this is short, but if I don’t stop now, it will turn into another moan and I really can’t stand it when I do that. Somehow I need to find a way to be upbeat when I’m on my own. Right now, I haven’t a clue how to do that, but I’m going to have to try. If only you could go to Tescos and buy a happy family – they sell almost everything else.

Square eyed

Having spent far too long staring at he television screen (tennis and racing), my eyes have had enough (I’m also just a tiny bit allergic to dogs!) so I’m going to shut down and turn off for the weekend. 

Sadly, it’s my last evening with the wonderful Woody, who I’m going to miss so much even thinking about it hurts, and I want to make the most of as many cuddles as I can squeeze in. I had planned to mow the grass, but there’s just been another shower. When it’s too wet, it’s a much harder job, so that will have to wait too.

Sunday 8th July 2012

I think, I hope, I pray that things are becoming a bit clearer.  Now have a plan, a bit on the vague side but a plan, of what I want to do. First I have to wait until the man in Exeter does what he has promised to do i.e. move out. Then I will pursue Social Services and the solicitor, by whatever means, to get them to admit they made mistakes and to give me an apology. I don’t want revenge or even financial compensation, although the latter would be nice, I simply want them to admit they hurt me and to say sorry.

Once the house in Exeter is sold, I’m going to look for a new place to live. I’ve moved far too many times since Gareth died but never for the RIGHT reasons.  We had a lovely house that we’d both worked hard on but I didn’t feel I could cope with the garden without his help – the idea that I could pay a gardener once a month never even occurred to me. After that I met John and it was move, move and move again, each time trying to fix the problem of our relationship which was, I now know, unfixable.

So, once the Exeter house is sold, I’ll be on the lookout for a house that suits me. I don’t care if it needs works, it’s the basic shell I’m looking for – a large bedroom that I can turn into an office/art/music room, a kitchen with room for a table and a garden that’s big but not vast. It also needs to be within easy walking distance of the station.

Having decided all this, I’m actually starting to look forward to some of the good things that are coming my way, like Swanwick.

To end with a question – whose bright ideas was it to have the Wimbledon Men’s Singles final (with the first British man playing for more than seventy years) on at the same time as the British Grand Prix. I can watch the race highlights, but it’s not the same. 

Another letter

Today I received another letter from Mum’s GP enclosing a copy of a letter written by Mum’s psychiatrist to her solicitor. In it she says an dI quote ’ it is my impression that Mrs Gaunt does not have the mental capacity to …revoke the current Power of Attorney. I suggest that her affairs are registered with the Court of Protection.’ 

 

I’ve always thought that was what should have been done, then if anybody had any reasons for not wanting me to have power of attorney they could have been raised. Most importantly of all, I would have had the chance to put my side of things rather than being completely sidelined.  

So now I have to decide what to do. I can carry on trying to get the solicitor to admit they acted in error, I can go after social services who did not apply to the Court of Protection or I can walk away.

At the moment, the man living in Mum’s house has agreed to move out. I can’t go into details as to why, and, providing he does as he promises, will never be able to do that. Once he leaves, I will be able to sell the house and buy one in Leeds that I can rent out. I will have some much needed security and won’t have to face any more upsetting emails and letters. The big question is this – is walking away the right thing to do?

Long day

It already feels like a very long day. I have to get up early when the dogs are here, so that could be the reason. Whatever it is, I’m not going to do even try to do anything else. Tomorrow I’m going to see if I can open a new current account s that I’m ready should I decide to close the one I have with Barclays. 

Note to George, that book I ordered hasn’t arrived yet.

In need of an ear to bend

As I still feel bad, despite things going well, I’ve decided to get some more help. I have booked another session with the woman at Relate who helped me a year or so ago. Maybe with her assistance I can figure out where it is I want to go with my life. I've also decided to have a break from John for at least a week, after the dogs have gone back to see how it feels to cope alone. 

It’s such a boon having the dogs here. It makes such a difference as I know that laugh or cry, angry or sad, they will still want to spend time with me (even if I know it’s only because I have access to the dog food).

I'm hoping to get to Heydays tomorrow as I’ve missed a couple of weeks and it will soon be the end of term.

Highlight of today – strawberries from the garden and a lovely long cuddle with Woody while I watched some of the tennis.

I hate Barclays bank

A mixed day. It started well with a lovely message from Joan Dowling about my books, which is copied below.

Dear Linda

I have read three of your Kindle books and I am now enjoying Writers Treasury - really looking forward to more gems at your workshops in Nottingham at the end of August.

At last - writing books full of plain common sense - and humour. I will be passing on details to my creative writing class in Cheshire.

That gave me a real boost, then the post came and the grant of probate arrived.

What happened then is summed up in a letter I’ve just written to complain (it doesn’t mention that the train broke down and it took me an age to get home, nor that it was raining!).  Part of the letter follows to save me typing it again.  

‘I called into my local branch (Cross Gates) with the document. I was told they could not help me as the person who dealt with that kind of thing was sick. What’s more they could not say when she would be back. They advised me to go to another branch.

I therefore went to the Albion Street branch on the train. There, I had to wait for ages to see a personal banker but when I eventually got to see one, all she did was make copies of the grant of probate and the account closure form. Why on earth could they not do this at Cross Gates? The woman was also totally cold and unsympathetic.

I have had a wasted afternoon, spent money on trains and been treated with lack of consideration. I have had more kindness from strangers on the street.

Since my mother died I have had to deal with Nationwide, Halifax and Britannia. They have all been kind and helpful yet my own bank, who I have been with for decades, gives me the run around. Plus I’m still waiting for the money. Money which sat in Mum’s account for years without a single penny of interest ever being added’

I have no idea what they will do – nothing probably, but I had to say something.  Ot’s no wonder banks are unpopular right now.

Catching up

As readers of this blog will know, life has been proving difficult since Mum died, for all kinds of complicated reasons. As a result, I have been laying low for a while until I could see a way through all the complications. There is now a light shining at the end of the tunnel but until I can see it, touch it and feel it, I’d rather not say any more about it to avoid upsetting any gremlins.

I have been to the probate office to swear the oath and I’m now waiting for them to send me the grant of probate. Once that arrives, I can apply to have the house put into my name. Again, I will be doing it myself rather than bothering with a solicitor as, for some reason, I have rather lost faith in that profession.

I DO feel better though which is great and have started to look forward to Swanwick again. Once I have definite, good, news, I will post it for all to see.

I’ve started work on the next book which I hope will form part of a set, the first one being The Writer’s Treasury of Ideas. I’m about 25,000 words in so far. Again, more news when I have it.

The second NAWG Open competition is now open for entries, closing date 31^st October. As I am judging the short stories, please don’t send anything that I have already read or commented on as I wouldn’t be able to judge the story fairly. This year, there is a poetry section too which will be judged by Alison Chisholm. To find out more, check the web site at www.nawg.co.uk.

I’ve also updated my web site. See www.akacatherinehoward.weebly.com

Sorry for the short and impersonal nature of this post. Normal posts will be resumed soon (I hope). Right now, I’m enjoying having my joint favourite dog, Woody the dachshund, staying with me, together with his demented, thoroughly daft, best friend, Snoopy the black Labrador who has less brain power than a packet of peanuts. .