Deciding what to do

As readers of this blog will know, I suffer from depression and low self esteem. It doesn’t matter how well things go, I can still see the dark side.

Lately I’ve been wondering if I’d ever feel better. I’ve been seeing a CBT therapist for a few months and getting nowhere. Today, I finally think I may be getting somewhere.
For a long time I’ve been trying to be something more than ‘just’ a short story writer. Instead of writing short stories, which I know I can do, I’ve been worrying, wasting time, and working on novels I have little faith in.

It’s time to stop. Go back to writing two or more stories every week until I’m back on track, then, if I want to, I can have a go at other things without stressing myself half to death.

I’ll still be working on my writers; guides as they’re such fun to write, and I can still put short story collections together and write my column for the best writing magazine I know (Writers Forum). Everything else can go until I feel back in control.

Today I’m usually at Heydays but they’re hosting a conference so we had a week off. I had a go at painting a portrait of a friend’s cat but it hasn’t worked out very well. I was trying too hard. Right now I need some more fun in my life and I’m not exactly sure where to find it.

I have just finished uploading my novel to a publisher in Germany. I have no idea what will become of it but I’m glad it’s gone somewhere so that I can forget about it. Once it’s for sale, I’ll be putting the details here but a I have a few doubts abut the process, don’t hold your breath.

Byker books want me to put another story collection together which again is fun as I already have the words. I just need to make the book.

Tomorrow I’m going to ask my tame proof reader if he will work his magic on my autobiography. At the moment, I’ve been selling a (probably) mistake laden version as I was concerned about letting somebody I know well find out all my secrets.
I’ve now had a rethink. After the problems I had with my mother in the past year, the whole idea of the book was to tell the world the truth. If he’s willing to proof read it for me, I can then get it marketed by Lulu using their ISBN number service. I’ve just put Writing Guide 3 together (on writing fillers) with an ISBN so I’m waiting to see how it pans out. Be sure, I’ll let you know what happens.