Thursday, 31 May 2012

Pushing an elephant up the stairs

It’s strange how intimately my emotions are linked to how I feel physically. Going into town to hand in probate forms wasn’t difficult, it’s less than ten minutes on the train and an was walk both ends, but when I got home, I felt shattered. I tried to make myself do some work but it was like (to quote REM) pushing an elephant up the stairs.
A while ago, I gave myself until June 28th before I even began to think abut getting back on track, yet I still find myself getting annoyed at my lack of energy and this, very annoying, inability to settle to anything. I have, finally, booked a few days away. I left it too late for Scotland which was fully booked so I’ve ended up with 4 days in Great Yarmouth, a place I haven’t been to since I was seventeen. I chose that particular holiday as it’s by the sea, which I love. I have no idea what I’ll do when I get there. I might take a trip or two, or stay in my room and chill. I might even, dare I say it, write something – you never know!
The Writer’s Treasury of Ideas is featured in Writers Bookshelf in the latest Writing Magazine at a discounted prize so if you want to grab a bargain…. The book is also available from my web site ( where it comes with a free mini short story competition guide but you do have to pay full price.
I find trying to sell my book very hard. I feel as though I’m always going on about it in some way or another, but that’s what you need to do if you want to sell enough to make it worthwhile (and to make the publisher want to publish the follow up!)
Today, I’m appearing at the local Good Neighbours, talking about my book while people drift in and out having lunch, chatting or whatever. Not ideal by a long chalk.  I’m thinking of going early and sitting in on the writers group. I haven’t been for more than a year, but today’s the day they have a paid tutor (Yes, I do wish it was me!) and I always enjoyed those meetings more. I’ve always been a sucker for writing exercises.
The gardeners were meant to come this morning to finish off the mess they left behind but they rang last night saying they hadn’t been able to get the stones they need and can they come tomorrow instead? I wasn’t impressed, but what can you do? Right now it’s raining so I only hope it will be fine enough for them to get everything done on Friday as I’d really like to be able to put the plants in over the weekend.
My wonderful new (actually it was made in the 70s) TV cabinet arrived yesterday, so well packed it took an hour to unwrap it. I’m gradually replacing most of the furniture downstairs as part of my ‘new life’. I’ve never had good quality furniture before. I guess I never felt I deserved it. I still don’t in many ways but if I’m going to get better and start to enjoy life, then I need to start liking myself a bit more. If the only way I can think of to do that right now is to buy decent furniture on eBay, then that’s what I’ll have to do.

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