Monday, 16 September 2013


Saturday was a GOOD day. Janet, who goes to the BBQs I attend, gave me two free tickets to Harrogate Flower Show. The weather was perfect. The show full of interest (I must visit the people who grow pitcher plants sometime), John behaved himself and I bought some thoroughly daft things for the garden including two chickens and a fearsome looking metal blackbird.
My wonky hip/back behaved which was a relief but after three hours I’d had enough and went home for a snooze. Energy restored, I went to Marks and bought a meal for two deal rather than having to cook or go out. As September 14th’s go, it was very good. I don’t know why I mark that day (September 14th, when Gareth died) rather than other, happier days but as we married on Valentine’s Day and his birthday was in January, September gives me more options, weatherwise at least. 
I’d like to thank everyone who’s left comments, sent messages, advice and so on,  I’ve  even had an anonymous gift. At the moment, I’m dead set against any pills but I’m going to a homeopath later so will have to see what she thinks.
I’m feeling better at the moment, trying to build up to make a decision. As yet, I still haven’t been able to take the big (for me) step that involves.
I’m working on a competition story for a local competition – 800 words on the theme ‘ A Winter’s Tale’. There’s no prize but the winners will be published in the Harrogate Advertiser, plus there’s a grand prize day being held in Harrogate. It could be a good evening, of course, I’d have to come in the top ten to find out.
I’m out from 2.30 today until whenever. It’s Leeds Writers this evening and I’m not sure how long I’ll stay. That rather depends how the mood takes me.  After the homeopath, I’ll have time for a quick browse of a shop or two, grab a snack, then on to the meeting.
I’ve just finished Lucy Dillon’s book, THE SECRET OF HAPPY EVER AFTER and loved it. It made me cry, and laugh and smile and it also made me think about my past and whether I’m carrying a burden of shame too, like one of the characters in the novel.  I’ll have to put that past my therapist tomorrow.  I can’t resist sharing a quote from the book. I hope Lucy doesn’t mind.
‘He held her in his arms and he listened to her shame spilling out after so many years, and he told her, in his soft Scottish voice, that things were going to be all right, that she was brave and clever and beautiful and everything a good woman was, she could almost believe him. ‘
I guess, that’s what I’m looking for only I don’t have a man in my life so I need to be able to say that to l myself. Like I said, it’s hard, but I’m working on it.

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