Saturday, 21 September 2013

Making decisions

I feel like I’m making progress. I’ve made some major decisions. 
I decided not to go back to the therapist. I wanted somebody with more positivity. For most of the session she just sat there, looking at me with this sad expression. I asked her to help me make a decision and she wasn’t any help at all, so that’s over. I’m glad for another reason. Getting to her involved either taxis or a lift from my ex.  I’d much rather be able to make my own way. If I feel the need to see anyone else, I’ll find somebody closer. 
The pills from the homeopath arrived this morning. I was a bit disappointed. I expected several different kinds, not just one, but if it works, who cares? Also on her advice I’m taking extra vitamins and drinking one cup of green tea every day. 
Decision number two was a biggie. I’ve given notice to the Writers Bureau and will stop tutoring for them on 31st October.  The relief is immense as I want to be able to get on with more writing (I also have the judging and critiques for NAWG's open short story competition in November - see  I've very much enjoyed the experience.  The discipline of working for the Bureau helped me get through some very difficult times. Now I need to go it alone. I can’t tell you how hard making that decision was, mainly because it meant turning down a small, but regular income, but it’s done now. At last. Note to Rae – I tried to call you but no reply. Have you done that filler?????
The highlight of the past few days has been a series of emails from a man down in Surrey.  It’s given me such a boost. Shame he isn’t closer.. 
Today I was meant to be at a flirting workshop but it was cancelled. So annoying as I really could use some tips. It’s been such a long time since I went on a date and even longer since I flirted with anyone.  With the workshop cancelled, I had time to see a gardener who’s going to quote for various jobs in the garden. I like growing things, I don’t mind weeding, pruning and all that kind of stuff either, but it’s the hard landscaping that’s beyond me right now. He’s due to call later today with some prices so fingers crossed.
I said the other day that I was feeling better. I still feel better. I’m not jumping about singing and laughing, but I feel as though I have a bit more energy, not a lot, but a bit. This week I made blackberry compote and a lovely coconut and lime drizzle cake. I like trying new recipes but haven’t tried anything different for months. Hopefully that’s another good sign. Of course the proof of the pudding will be when I go back to writing stories….. if they come out well, I’ll know I’m on the mend.


  1. Blackberry compote sounds good. I need to go brambling soon. I had blackberry chutney tonight. It was yummy.

  2. Linda, I don't want to make you feel down or to put you down, but your therapist's place is not to make your decisions for you. Only you can decide where you go and what you do in the end. And, because she was your therapist, she couldn't take you by the shoulders, shake you and say that. I know, I really do, that there are times when you just want someone to open a gate, shine a big torch and show you which way to go, but it doesn't work like that. I'm wondering if reverse psychology would work on you, i.e. someone telling you you CANNOT do this or that, or go here or there. What do you think?

    1. It was the sad face that did it for me. I wanted somebody who smiled and encouraged me to make my own decisions. Reverse psychology doesn't work on me. Basically all I need is to let myself move forward and I've done that now. What happens next, no idea.