Saturday, 8 June 2013

Saying goodbye

I’m calling time on this blog. At least for now. 
 I want to be able to  encourage and entertain people, not depress them so until I turn that corner, it’s good bye.
Recently I’ve had quite  a few messages basically telling me to get on with it. I’d love to, believe me. The biggest problem I have is that without my mother, my life has a huge great gaping hole in it and I’ve no idea what to fill it with. Imagine if you will that you wake up one morning to find that you have no siblings, no children, or grandchildren, no parents, no lifelong friends, no lover/husband/partner, no office or work colleagues. What difference would that make to how you feel about things?
The annoying thing for me is that I focussed my entire life on my parents, trying to get them to love/encourage/like me. I failed (please don’t tell me that all mothers love their daughters because they don’t).
I’m sure that one day, soon, I will find whatever I need to fill the gap in my life. Right now I’m doing everything I can to make that happen but, until then, I’m better off keeping my thoughts to myself. 
Time to go sit in the sunshine and cuddle the dog...


  1. This, for me is your saddest post. Depression is not something you can just 'get over' as other people may have suggested to you. You know that. So why pay attention to them? You need to connect. Through such connections you will get better. Closing yourself off with the dog may not be the answer. Isolation is only something that deepens the loneliness and the darkness.

    If you are closing this blog down for a while, then I truly hope that it is so you can forge more meaningful and more protective connections in the real world, the world beyond the ether. I wish you well.

  2. My father died last year Linda and grief does strange things to you. It doesn't matter whether you felt loved or not, it's about not being able to put things right anymore, about wasted opportunities. It's not always within our power to have a good relationship with our parents but we can have a good relationship with ourselves. Give yourself time to grieve for what might have been and then start creating the life you want. It takes time. Be kind to yourself.

  3. Will miss your encouraging blog, Linda. You keep on writing, despite the challenges in your life. Good luck and I hope to see you here blogging again in the not too distant future.

  4. Wishing you all the best, Linda. I've always enjoyed your blog - the good times and the bad times. As the others above have said, you need to do what is best for YOU and look after YOU and no-one else. Hope to see you back soon. Caroline x

  5. I'd be very sorry to see you go, Linda, and I only did the 'get on with it' post because you asked me to. Loss and depression are awful. I lost my Dad a decade ago and I've not really recovered my balance yet. Take care of yourself, go at your own speed and, above all, come out at the other end of the tunnel. xx

  6. Hi Linda

    I've been reading your blog for a while but have never commented. I just wanted to recommend a couple of things, building on the Buddhism theme someone mentioned in a previous comment.

    There's a book called 'The Power of Now' which might help you, by Eckhart Tolle.

    And this website is very good:

    Both will help you focus on the present, rather than your past dictating your identity and how you feel. The best thing about this kind of thinking (or not thinking) is you can start straight away, and feel the benefits.

    Good luck.