As some of you may know, I have suffered from
depression, on and off for a number of years now.
I’m a lot better now, although having John
move out has been very hard and I’ve felt myself being tugged back towards
illness. The good news is, I’m hanging on. I might not be getting much fresh
work done, but I’m busy with other things like making the house mine (I hadn’t
noticed how bland everything was). Plus I’m getting better organised. What upsets
me though is this – depression is an illness. There have been many days in the
past year when I have been close to suicide. I felt so bad, I didn’t see the
point of living, yet nobody sent me a card. If I’d been in hospital I’d have
had visitors and gifts yet somebody in hospital at least has company and meals
and a routine. I’m not saying I’d rather be physically ill. All I’m saying is
that because depression doesn’t show, sometimes until it’s too late, people
often ignore it.
It’s not a question of pulling yourself
together, if you can do that, you’re just feeling down which happens to
everyone. That’s part of life. Pain
makes the joy deeper and more precious. It’s not depression. Depression is a
deep feeling of hopelessness. It’s a total lack of motivation, a lack of
energy, a lack of hope. It feels like there’s nothing to live for.
Why am I saying this? Because we can all
make other people’s lives better just by showing that we care. If you haven’t
heard from somebody for a while, give them a call. WHO CARES whose turn it is.
As a fellow sufferer I understand your comments. It is not as simple as 'pulling yourself together.' As you say if other people were more aware we wouldn't be made to feel like social outcasts. We are people too and although our illness isn't visible doesn't mean we do not struggle with it. A kind smile can lift your day.
ReplyDeleteLinda
ReplyDeleteYou're doing very well - I'm sure keeping busy must be some help! Best wishes Helen
Hugs Linda - More people care about you and what you're going through than you might think. Hang in there and learn all you can about depression. Knowledge is power! YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. x
ReplyDelete