I expected to be celebrating today

The Writer’s Treasury of Ideas goes on sale today, and what am I doing to celebrate that fact? Searching filing cabinets for birth, marriage and death certificates. I was really low this morning, feeling as though I couldn’t cope and would rather be dead, then it would be somebody else’s problem. The Co–op sent a list of papers they would want to see before quoting for doing the probate and it included things like my father’s and Gareth’s death certificates. It all felt like a bit too much.

I feel a lot calmer now and can see I was just reacting to being plunged back into the past.

I’m fairly sure I’ve made the decision to stick with the solicitor in Exeter rather than going elsewhere. In the end, at least as far as I’m concerned, it’s not about cost, it’s about convenience. Denis knows the firm and I need his help and co–operation if I want this to go smoothly and quickly. My plan is to go to Mum’s house and stuff every piece of paper that might have some relevance into a large bag and take the whole lot to the solicitor.

One thing I do know for certain is that if I make it through this with a bit of cash left over, I’m going to take a holiday as soon as I have a window.