No funeral date yet but at least I'm going.

I spoke to Denis again today (he has a rotten cold and is now on anti–biotics) and asked if it was OK with him if I went to the funeral. He said yes, and I could stay at the house but the beds were covered in boxes. He’d been told by Social Services that the money was running out for Mum’s fees and he’d have to move so the house could be sold. I was livid. He’s 85! Once my head clears, I’m going to make a formal complaint about the way Social Services have handled everything. If they’d responded sensibly, I would never have had problems with Denis in the first place.

I don’t have a date for the funeral yet as the death certificate hadn’t arrived at the funeral directors. I plan to stay overnight, either before or after, according to the time of the service so that I can squeeze in a visit to the solicitor. I’ve asked him to write me a new will leaving Denis Mum’s house in case I should die before he does. I want him to feel secure. The only problem is I’m going to have to ask him to pay rent, otherwise owning the house will cost me money as it’s going to need maintenance and so on. I might ask the solicitor to tackle that problem for me. 

In case the funeral takes place soon, while I have the dogs here, I've written out a detailed, step by step guide and asked John if he will take care of them. We had a trial run this evening and it seemed to go OK. I'm going to let him tackle it again tomorrow morning while I'm seeing my therapist. It's meant to be my last appointment where we look at my progress and ways to prevent a future relapse. We hadn't counted on  my mother dying.

Tonight is my writers’ club’s AGM. I intended to go, especially as I’ve put forward a proposal for debate, but I’m simply not up to it. I’ve also cancelled Radio Leeds on Thursday. I’m sure if I tried to do an interview now, I’d end up in tears. I’m not sleeping  which doesn’t help.

Plugging the book will have to wait. All I can face doing at the moment are things like gardening, wandering round the shops and stripping wall paper that help to distract my thoughts from other things.