Thursday, 25 July 2013

Looking for happy faces in the crowd and working, hard

Swanwick is just over two weeks away and I still have the course and workshop to plan.  I have a vague plan, but not much else but I know it will come together, once I start to think about it. Right now, I have other things on my mind.
I’ve discovered, and yes, I know it’s been a long time coming, that if I’m busy, then it’s much easier to cope with the lack of people and the loneliness.  Basically, busy means no time to brood. Yesterday, I worked and worked and worked. I worked on three old stories and send two to the People’s Friend and one to Fiction  Feast. I finished a new story that I first had the idea for at least six years ago, and another one that I started on my recent trip to Scarborough.
After  that, I answered some queries from Writers Bureau pupils and then a blue bag arrived with more assignments to mark. I have 48 hours to turn these round but rather than risk being late, I’d rather get stuck in. So I did those too.
I squeezed in a gardening break during which I pruned another couple of out of control bushes. Then I went back to rewriting stories. I ended the day by looking at coach and train times for my various outings (NAWG and Newark) then sat down to read the first few entries for the Fosseway writers competition.   I stopped when it became too dark to read, about half nine.
At the moment, my stories are coming out OK. Not great, not wonderful, just OK. I’m hoping that at least some of them will sell as that will give me the confidence boost I need to get back into writing fiction properly again. I miss it plus it would be nice to have some more cash coming in then maybe I can actually take the big step of spending some on a holiday!
Swanwick is NOT a holiday, more’s the pity. I’ve made up my mind that next year, I’ll either go and not do any teaching, or, dare I say it, I might even not go at all. It all depends, I guess, on how it goes this time.
I’m back on the 5 2 diet. Yesterday was a not-fast day  which meant that I overindulged just a tiny bit, so today I’m back on 500 calories. Why I love this diet is that you only have to think about calories for two days out of seven. Also, it works. I’ve already shifted the half stone I put on while my kitchen was being done (pub and microwave meals aren’t conducive to weight loss).
I’m also visiting a site I found after watching a Horizon programme. You have to try to find one smiling face amongst lots of miserable ones. I am so BAD at this, it’s laughable, but I think I’m getting better…
As to my state of mind, it’s not great. If I stop to think, I cry. So the solution is simple, don’t stop to think. Providing I can keep going and with all the work I could be doing (three half written novels, a new guide for writers, etc etc) there’s no reason for me to actually run out of work. That said, it would be nice to have something else to do – fun or chats with friends spring to mind, but you can’t have everything, can you?

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