Frustration rules

Having made the decision to end the part time work I was doing, I’m now feeling increasingly frustrated.  I’ve had to give notice. I’m not the kind of person who just stops, that wouldn’t meet my ‘be fair to everyone’ syndrome. So now, I have to get on with the work and count the days until I’m free again.

Louis arrives on Sunday. His owners sent me an email the other day saying how much they wished I wasn’t stopping the boarding as their dog loves coming to say with me (he does) and they wouldn’t feel as happy leaving him with anyone else. It really upset me. I felt I was letting them down when, in fact, Louis loves everyone. I don’t think he cares who he’s with, providing they give him some attention when he’s in playful mode.

I almost wavered. After all, it wouldn’t hurt to spend the odd week looking after a dog I’m potty about, but I managed to resist. Just. The whole idea of cutting all my ties and commitments is to open up my life to other possibilities. I feel I need to be more spontaneous. I want to be able to try new social groups without having to check whether I’m free, dog wise.  Most of all, I want to be free to get back to proper writing. By that I mean writing things I want to write rather than stuff I HAVE to  write.

Today, there’s no Heydays.  I’ve arranged to meet a man from Leeds Writers for lunch. He’s a poet, a great one as far as I’m concerned as his words often touch my heart. He’s a bit down, I’m a bit down. I’ve no idea how it will go but who cares? I’m doing something different. After that, it’s off to the hairdressers for a cut and blow dry. I coloured it myself this time. Last time they did it, the colour faded dramatically in a couple of weeks so I figure better to spend £6 and do it myself. I’d meant to get a colour closer to the one my hair naturally fades too but managed to get it a bit wrong so that I’ve ended up a darker shade of brown than I’d intended, but at least it covers the grey…..

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