Am I still grieving?

I met somebody when I was out at crossword class. She asked me how I was doing. When I told her that despite everything going well, I felt more miserable than I had in ages. She said it sounded as though the grieving process had caught up with me.

I wonder if she’s right. In a way, I hope she is because that means, given time, I’ll start to feel better.

Joanna from the Writers Circle sent me an email saying she’s hoping to get to the next meeting (Monday, 1^st October) so I’m going to try and make the effort  to get there too. I  think I’ve only been once this entire year so far. It will be good to catch up plus it will get me out of the house and stop me playing computer games for hours and hours on end. 

 

Trying to put me off

A number of people have been trying to put me off the house I want to buy round the corner. There are no perfect properties, but as soon as somebody starts to say negative things, the doubts start to creep in. I’ve been told that youths drink and throw bottles about behind the off license which is on the main road and the car park for which the house backs on to. As I’ll be on my own, I obviously don’t want any trouble, but is this a real problem or not? I’ve also been told about smells from a takeaway. If either problem is bad, the vendors are hardly likely to tell me.

What do I do now? Go and hang about behind the off–license and see for myself?  I guess I’ll have to. What larks!

I went to the singing group again today, despite the driving rain. There are only 2 more practises before we’re meant to perform, so goodness how that’s going to  work. Fingers crossed I suppose

Busy doing nothing

I have done nothing today apart from tidy the house a bit. 

Otherwise, it’s just been computer games over and over. I ALMOST reached the point earlier when I wanted to throw the machine in the bin so with any luck, this energy sapping period is on its way out.

Tomorrow morning, I’m having the house valued and maybe put on the market. I’m also viewing a bungalow just to see what they’re like inside. It’s on an estate that seems to tick a lot of boxes so I might as well be nosey.

Right now, I could really use a tame builder to go and look at the house I’m hoping to buy. Having a proper survey done is very expensive and in the past I’ve always found them unsatisfactory. Any possible problems and they’ve always said, have further investigations made. If anyone in the Leeds area knows anyone who would be able to go to the house and check out the structural side – roof, loft space, electrics, walls, etc, do, please get in touch.

All I want to know is if there’s anything major I should know about. I'm obviously willing to pay. 

Kitchen finished!

I’ve just finished wallpapering the kitchen, a job I started a year ago. It looks so much better now it’s done, so much brighter. It’s a shame it’s taken planning to move to get me motivated!

I actually enjoy hanging paper (not so keen on the stripping and preparation though). It’s a wonderful way to transform a room  and doesn’t take that long to do either.

The house is starting to look better. I’m keen to find out what the estate agent has to say on Tuesday. I’ve asked the Exeter agent to call the man buying Mum’s house to see if he’s had the go ahead for the loan he wanted.

Thanks for the message, Jacula. Eminently sensible and insightful as always. Fingers crossed the calm seas stay and that I start to not only cope with, but also enjoy them.

Day in Scarborough

I had a lovely day with Val in Scarborough yesterday. She has so much talent, it’s a shame to see her not using it. She can paint, sculpt, all kinds of things.

I had such a good time, and there was such a lot to see (lots of charity shops too)  I decided to book a weekend there with National Holidays in October. The wind off the sea was a bit sharp though, but the rain stayed away which was all anyone can really ask for at this time of year. I challenged Val to enter the themed competitions in Writers News as they’re free. The plan is I write a story and send it to her for feedback and she does the same. I’m hoping that will be the prod I need to get me started on stories again. It’s worth a try.

Today I’ve been sprucing up the house a bit ready for Tuesday when the estate agent comes to give me a valuation. Before then I need to finish wallpapering the kitchen. It’s all stripped, filled and ready, all I need is a large dose of enthusiasm and energy.

I still don’t feel right in my head. I don’t think it’s depression, I just feel a bit flat and don’t want to do anything, not even watch TV or listen to music. It’s so great that things are going well, I guess it takes some getting used to.

Pondering

I have been pondering.

Nothing significant, just the meaning of life.

Now that things are going well, it’s rather caught me on the hop. It’s been too many years since life was this calm and it’s taking some getting used to. I still don’t really know what I want to do other than take life a bit easier for a while.

I also needed to decide what to do about various people who, to quote the old saying, had ‘done me wrong’. Today I wrote to the solicitor who handled Mum’s affairs and asked for compensation and reimbursement of the fees I paid to him. I have no idea what they’ll do but I didn’t feel able to just let them get away with everything.

I’m not doing much at the moment other than things I have to do – my column, Writers Bureau scripts, people wanting feedback, sending out the odd rewritten story. Tomorrow I’m going to Scarborough to see Val. I’ve been meaning to for months but never managed to get round to it. I’m also toying with the idea of taking a three day break there in October, the idea being that if I take a pad and some starting points for stories, I might just be able to get back to work. I know once I start, I’ll be fine. It’s that first step that’s the scary one.

Word has done a wobbly

I had plans to write up several posts and catch up with everything, but you know what they say about plans? Word has just decided to thorw a wobbly on my PC and I can't raise the enthusiasm to go back into it so will be brief instead.
I went back to the Tuesday singing group today. I used to go fairly often but fell out of the habit more than a year ago when I was down. They've moved  and the new venue is a 20 minute walk from the station but I had a really good time and will try to make the effort again next week, specially as I've decide to put Heydays on hold for this term at least. The rest of today has been spent on marking assignments for the Writers Bureau. I still haven't got to grips with the email ones yet so it takes me an age to each one but so long as I enjoy doing it, that's fine.
My head is starting to  get to grips with this new, relaxed style of life. I'm still not sure what I want to do, but have decided to just go with the flow for a while and see what happens.