last day of my course

I spent most of today at the last session of the course for writing group facilitators. I found it rather and slow and dare I say it, not that interesting. I guess I like writing to be fun more than worthy or wordy but it was good to meet some new people. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep in touch with some of them.

When I got home, it was waiting time – waiting for electricians to come and quote for various bits and pieces.  One was a no-show. When I chased him, he said he’d called and left a message to say he was delayed, but there was nothing on my machine. So now I have to wait for them to quote – always scary as I have no idea what electrical work costs these days.

Not wanting to let the day slip by, I took time to write up the notes for yesterday’s meeting of Leeds Writers Circle. I’m so pleased I stepped into the breech as secretary as I already feel much more involved with the group. Since the committee changed, there’s more energy at the meetings so if you’ve been thinking of coming along, why not give LWC a try? Programme details are on the web site www.leedswriterscircle.co.uk

I marked one assignment for the Writers Bureau then watered the plants I put in at the weekend. Now I have run out, not just of steam, but of any kind of energy at all, so time to go and watch the last episode of Broadchurch (isn’t David Tenant dishy?) and maybe have a tiny glass of wine… 

If you're reading this, Valerie, thanks for the phone message. Cheer up!

Glad to be home for a rest!

I went to Scarborough on Thursday, just for a couple of nights.  It was meant to be a bit of a break, a chance to catch up with some friends and get some rest and relaxation. It didn’t quite work out as planned…

On Thursday, I arrived in Scarborough just before noon. As I couldn’t book into the hotel until 2, I decided to take a taxi to the hotel, drop off my case, then get some lunch, head back to the hotel for 2ish, unpack, then catch another cab to Valerie’s.

Instead the hotel let me into my room straightaway which meant I had a cup of tea, unpacked, then headed out. There being no reason to return to the hotel, and not being due to get to Valerie until after three, I ended up walking instead. It all right to start with. I headed towards the sea, enjoying the lift the water always gives me, and headed to a café I’d been to before, half way down the cliffs where I had lunch. Then I decided to wander along the seafront, browsing the shops  (and having at least one ice cream) and maybe walk to Valerie’s instead of getting a cab. Great idea, only I’m not that fit, plus the wind was against me most of the time and so strong, it lifted my off my feet more than once.

By the time I arrived at Valerie’s house (which is at the top of a long long hill), I was exhausted. Luckily, I’d stopped on the way to buy a bottle of wine!

We had a takeaway Indian meal which wasn’t very good but who cares when you’re hungry. Valerie’s been rather down lately and I ended up practising my counselling and listening skills rather more than anticipated.

I took a cab back to the hotel, just after seven. As I fancied something sweet after the curry, I headed for Sainsbury’s local (another lengthy walk) and by the time I got back to the hotel, I was so weary, all I had strength for was to crash out.

I stayed at the Earlsmere Hotel, Belvedere Road. If you’re looking for a small, perfectly formed place to stay, where the hosts are kind, the  breakfast is good, and the furnishings and décor are out of this world, then you might do well to consider staying there. I just wish I had half their good taste.

I probably wouldn’t stay there again as I prefer somewhere bigger so that there are people around, but for a quiet, intimate break, it would be just the job,

On Friday, I spent an hour and a half writing then rang my other friend as arrange4d at 11. I won’t say her name as it was her birthday and she might not want the world to know how old she is.  I expected her to say come round later, say about three, but she said come round now so I did.  Like Valerie, she’s also doing a creative writing degree so we spent time talking about that.  She wanted me to give some written feedback as she needed it for part of the course. After a light lunch, we carried on talking until it was time to go and eat (another longish walk). She’d booked a table at a fish restaurant where I had my favourite skate wings with capers (sadly badly overcooked to the extent it was burnt round the edges), followed by a delightfully simple dessert of hot cherries, amaretto and Cornish vanilla ice cream. Then we walked to the Stephen Joseph theatre to see Silly Songs of Shakespeare. I hadn’t a clue what to expect; in the end it turned out to be four very talented young people (one man and three ladies) who performed various songs with Shakespeare as the theme. Some songs were very silly, others more serious. They had such a lot of talent, and so much energy, I have to say I enjoyed it, so if you like something different and silly, why not see the show if it comes to a theatre near you?

Annoyingly my sensitive digestive system decided it wasn’t happy which meant our planned hour, propping up the bar, didn’t happen and I went back to the hotel via her flat (she didn’t want to get a taxi even when I said I’d pay) so that was another walk.

On Saturday morning I woke to find the wind had dropped and the sky was blue. On another occasion, I might have stayed until after lunch, but in the end I was so bushed, all I wanted to do was head home.

Then my train was cancelled and because of that, the next one was full to overflowing. I really was delighted when I finally got home so that I could have a rest.

Trying to get into the mood for a break

I am getting ready for my mini break to Scarborough where I’ll be catching up with two good friends (who sadly aren’t friends with each other at the moment which is VERY VERY annoying!).

I wish I felt more in the mood. It’s grey cold and miserable outside and that’s pretty much how I feel on the inside too.  I’m waiting for the builders to arrive. They were meant to finish this part of the work yesterday but what with the high winds and a gate that was both poorly made and the wrong size (the supplier’s fault mainly, not theirs),  they have to come back.

They’re very nice people but … Right now I want them to go and leave me alone, let me get on with my new life, but once this part of the work’s done, there’s still a lot more to be done. What I want  is to be able to get away to the coast without having to think about gutters, gates, and doors and windows and kitchens and electrics……

I’m not going to touch the internet while I’m away, so have a good weekend all of you, and au revoir until next week.

Under the weather

I should have spent the day at the facilitator’s course in the centre of Leeds, only I didn’t.

Last night, by the time I left the pub after the poetry judging at Leeds Writers Circle, I was finding it hard to put one foot in front of the other (and no, it wasn’t because I’d been drinking). I felt so weary. Then I ate something that I shouldn’t have and ended up with stomach pains too. This morning, I felt so rough, I couldn’t face going out so I sent an email and my apologies instead. I should be able to catch up next week.

Of course, I didn’t spend the day in bed. That would be rather difficult with the builders still here. I ended up painting some more walls in the living room, typing up the notes from the poetry judging and trying to write something new. That last part definitely did NOT work. Having people here is just too distracting. The good news is that I’ve sold another two stories to The People’s Friend. The not so good news is that I’ve been reworking old stories to send to them and I don’t have an inexhaustible stock. One day, soon, I’ll need to get back to churning out new stories on a regular basis, the big question is when?

I have a very short break in Scarborough later this week. I’m hoping that the sea air will have the same effect on me as it did last time when I came home with a batch of good stories. At the moment I’m reading Julia Cameron’s The Right to Write hoping it will help me to get back to writing for fun. It’s well worth a look if you haven’t read it yet.

Progress

When my mother died, the focus of my life disappeared and I was left, dangling.  I had no idea where to go, or who I was. And even less of an idea about what I wanted to do with my life.

Ever since then, I’ve been struggling to work out some of the answers to these simple, but amazingly complicated, questions.  It’s been just over a year and in many ways I have made absolutely no progress. I still don’t have answers to any of those questions. What I DO have are more questions, like how do I make life more enjoyable? How do I stop feeling overwhelmed by all the things that are beyond my control – builders and the weather spring to mind.  And of course the biggest question of all, how do I learn to like myself?

I do, however, feel that I am making progress. I am starting to believe that actually I’m OK, and that even though I’m not  attractive according to society’s exacting standards, I do have my own brand of beauty and best of all, it’s the kidn that never leaves because it comes from inside.

Reading that back, I find it hard to believe that those words are mine. I certainly would never have dreamed of writing them two years ago. I guess it goes to show that I am making some progress after all.

Today’s plan – catch up with Writers Bureau and Leeds Writer Circle work, then get out into the garden. Last night I counted five fish in the pond. They’re still just murky shapes, the water’s so green, but I’m already growing rather fond of them. I’ll probably get some plants (I can’t see any at all at the moment) and put them in the pond. At least then the tadpoles I bought with me from my old house will have somewhere to hide.

I have work to do in the front garden too. Hard work, involving digging. I might just have to ask my ex for his help

Yesterday, I went to see the flat I’m buying to rent out. I’d only seen it once for five minutes as the family hadn’t been told we were coming to view it. 

It’s the most amazing flat I have seen, ever. So it needs decorating, but the space and the light are truly awesome. If it wasn’t on the first floor and therefore to far removed from the garden, I’d live there myself. It’s a beauty!